Wednesday, March 7, 2007

a unholy alliance!

so i just abandoned petey 2 finish off a unfinished job. wut job cud that b u ask? well stopping simon cowell of course!

i had heard that c-crest had gone rouge. i thought that that meant he wud be whereing sum prty eye makeup but apparently it means he wuz betraying simon n that wuz good enough 4 me! so i went n discretely met w/ him in my finest sunday dress. he handed me a business card n wuz off!

so i wuz totally off 2 the cave of despair lol! wen i got there it wuz kind of skerry. bats flew thru my hair n i slapped at them! brrr! i h8 bats!

newayz i kept going. i had 2 avenge urkman! he wuz counting on me!!! i new his ghost wuz smiling dwn on me, prolly eating cheese with the big guy. no not god but carl! he died of a heart attack from eating a tub of lard about a year ago. lol!

i had 2 avenge them! i reached the end of the cave n i heard a voice.

scurry voice: Sosssss you have come to kill Simonssssss have you?

hey she had a lisp! like me!

me!: um yes! is that u simon?

scurry voice: Doesssss thissss sound like a manssss voice or doessss it sound like thte voiccccce of a cat? Meow!

me!: uh i dont no simon is prty catlike lol!

it wuz then that the vile beast jumped out of the shadows! oh god wuz she ugly! i shreaked in fear and dropped 2 the ground in a ball! it wuz my catch all defense! it werked against bears bullies n ugliness! i had never scene nething that vile! she approached me and i smelt her cat breath! ewwww! i puked all ovr myself! i kneaded to tear out my eyeballs n clog my nose! she attacked scratching me with her claws! ouch! now i new wut it felt like 2 be scratched by my nails!

all of a sudden tho she stopped attacking! i wuz 2 scared 2 move i just sat there in my pool of vomit quivering in fear. i had a crippling fear of all things ugly n this...this thing wuz the ugliest i had evr scene! uglier then a redneck!

newayz after aboot 5 mins i decided 2 stand up. i saw her. the girl i wanted 2 go shopping w/ omg! it wuz niki from burnt toast! or wuz it jessica? prolly her since she had a gun in her hand n we all no how whiney n unagressive niki is lol!

i new she had pwrs but i figured we cud help each othr! plus i haf no need for strength becuz i haf soft dainty hands. i didnt knead her craziness pwr either bcuz well...i think i haf enough of that lol! it seemed that she had sum problem w/ the cat lady who werked 4 simon. we decided we wud help each othr take r oppressors out! her vengeance may not b as important as vengeance for urkman (wut cud be more important than urkman!!!!) but if she kin help me out its wrth it! espec since as long as cat lady is in the way ill nvr be able 2 reach simon wut with my weak tummy!

newayz we had formed r unholy alliance! 2gether we cud take out simon n cat lady! but...maybe we knead a henchman 2? mayb!


Mr. Bennet said...

Do either of you know where Claire is?

-Mr. Bennet (Not Candice)

Kitty said...

oh god, that was the ugliest fucken thing in the entire world. I almost puked. Never ever put a thing like that on your blog Sylar

Svetlana Smith said...


Join us in our revolution, my four-legged furry friends! There is no need to stand the slavery shackled to us by our two-footed oppressors!

HISS, BITE, SCRATCH, STING! Do what you must to confuse them!

And scratch me behind the ears while you're at it.

-- Comrade Lenin --

Sylar said...

u almost puked kitty?

i DID puke! u didnt haf 2 smell that breath. rotting fish guts n hairball ewwwww!

Niki said...

We'll destroy her before she can make another innocent person lose their lunch.

Kitty said...

yeah... it was pretty nasty. I showed my friends at school when I was reading your blog, and THEY puked.

Svetlana Smith said...

Simon Cowell is a mere cover for our true intentions. It's nice to see that you humans were so easily confused...!

Soon we shall unleash our LOLs against you! Be not distracted by their fluffy cuteness. They are crazy killing machines!

-- Comrade Lenin --

D.L. Hawkins said...

Niki, baby, please don't go anywhere with this strange man.

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