Tuesday, March 13, 2007

step 1 locate simon!

so hear we r! on r path 2 finally destroy simon once n 4 all. i had my new bff niki/jess on my side as well as a knew henchman! their wuz 1 problem tho. simon had disappeared! no 1 knew where he wuz! he kneaded 2 find sum1 with a connection.

unfortuantely the most obvious 1 the diabolical c-crest had also gone into hiding. there wuz no siting of him newear! i new 1 day tho r paths wud cross agin n then id totally kill him 4 sending me 2 the cat ladys lair!

newayz we had 1 othr connection n that wuz thru the cat lady herself. n evry1 nos that antisocial cat ladys like 2 socialize w/ each othr n we new 1 othr such kitty lady! mr glasses'seseses mommy!

unfortunately 4 us she wuz like totally dead. but i knew 1 thing that peeps of god like n thats seances! i pulled out my ouiji board that i alwayz kept on hand 4 situations such as this n we used my navigater skills 2 totally find the ditch by the road she wuz decaying in lol.

we found her ewww her brain had gone bad (sry mr glasses i took a taste). we set up the ouiji board n set 2 it lol!

Jeremiah: I find this to be quite sacrilegious.

Niki/Jess: Quiet, holy man! Mrs. Bennet? Is your spirit in the area?

omg the slider totally moved 2 the yes answr w/ like no influence at all from me! i giggled a lil

Jeremiah: Sweet Jesus' Ghost! She answered!

i strted 2 giggle a little more n all of a sudden wuz in full guffaw! the others looked @ me.

Niki/Jess: Sylar, hon, did you move it yourself?

me!: :giggles: no! :giggles:

niki pulled out her gun n pointed it at my lil head!

me!: u no that cant hurt me! :giggles:

b4 she cud shoot me tho the spirit appeared b4 us!

Mrs. Bennet: Who dares wake me from my slumber at my eternal resting spot, half buried on the side of the highway?

sylarz: itz me mrs glasses sylarz! we r lookin 4 the location of a fello cat lady named mcwhiskers!

Mrs. Bennet: For such information, I will require one living soul.

sylarz: ok wich 1 of u guys wants 2 die?

Jeremiah: No! We cannot turn on each other so quickly. We have no such soul for you, spectral entity. What now?

Mrs. Bennet: No living soul? Then you must die!

she wuz vengeful she wanted 2 kill us n since i had 2 be a good boy i cudnt give her a living soul! flames shot from her eyes n burned my skin!

Niki/Jess: Stop her, holy man! Exorcise her!

Jeremiah: I can't! Jehovah's Witnesses is not a real religion! We have no influence with anything spiritual!

sylarz: wait she doesnt want a human spirit! i no wut she kneads!

it wuz then that i opened my mouth...n vomited out a kitten! lol didnt u kno i had the pwr 2 vomit kittens? come on now im 2 cute 2 be puking puke! gosh! newayz i handed the vomited kitten 2 mrs bennet n she calmed down. she crushed its skull with her spectral fist n added a kitten 2 her ghostly collection!

Mrs. Bennet: It is common knowledge where all cat ladies assemble. Anyone with half a brain knows this. What do cats hate more than anything?

sylarz: lack of brainz?

Niki/Jess: Life?

Jeremiah: Water!

Mrs. Bennet: Indeed, water. So, by that logic, you will be able to find McWhiskers in an underwater base off the coast of California.

Jeremiah: But...that makes no sense!

Mrs. Bennet: Doesn't it? Or does it make so much sense that you have completely lost the concept of what it is to MAKE sense?!

w/ that the bennet lady ghst disappeared! she told us were mcwhiskers wuz! n wear mcwhiskers wuz simon wud be closeby! we r making headway! soon the showdown will happen! toodles!


Kitty said...

think you can puke up a kitty for me?
HRG's mother is quite creepy...

Mr. Bennet said...

Stab the kitties!!!!!


Anonymous said...

Oh God, it is true. Comrade Trotsky is seeing to it that cats take over the world.

I thought grandma was just hallucinating again.