Tuesday, March 13, 2007

step 1 locate simon!

so hear we r! on r path 2 finally destroy simon once n 4 all. i had my new bff niki/jess on my side as well as a knew henchman! their wuz 1 problem tho. simon had disappeared! no 1 knew where he wuz! he kneaded 2 find sum1 with a connection.

unfortuantely the most obvious 1 the diabolical c-crest had also gone into hiding. there wuz no siting of him newear! i new 1 day tho r paths wud cross agin n then id totally kill him 4 sending me 2 the cat ladys lair!

newayz we had 1 othr connection n that wuz thru the cat lady herself. n evry1 nos that antisocial cat ladys like 2 socialize w/ each othr n we new 1 othr such kitty lady! mr glasses'seseses mommy!

unfortunately 4 us she wuz like totally dead. but i knew 1 thing that peeps of god like n thats seances! i pulled out my ouiji board that i alwayz kept on hand 4 situations such as this n we used my navigater skills 2 totally find the ditch by the road she wuz decaying in lol.

we found her ewww her brain had gone bad (sry mr glasses i took a taste). we set up the ouiji board n set 2 it lol!

Jeremiah: I find this to be quite sacrilegious.

Niki/Jess: Quiet, holy man! Mrs. Bennet? Is your spirit in the area?

omg the slider totally moved 2 the yes answr w/ like no influence at all from me! i giggled a lil

Jeremiah: Sweet Jesus' Ghost! She answered!

i strted 2 giggle a little more n all of a sudden wuz in full guffaw! the others looked @ me.

Niki/Jess: Sylar, hon, did you move it yourself?

me!: :giggles: no! :giggles:

niki pulled out her gun n pointed it at my lil head!

me!: u no that cant hurt me! :giggles:

b4 she cud shoot me tho the spirit appeared b4 us!



Mrs. Bennet: Who dares wake me from my slumber at my eternal resting spot, half buried on the side of the highway?

sylarz: itz me mrs glasses sylarz! we r lookin 4 the location of a fello cat lady named mcwhiskers!

Mrs. Bennet: For such information, I will require one living soul.

sylarz: ok wich 1 of u guys wants 2 die?

Jeremiah: No! We cannot turn on each other so quickly. We have no such soul for you, spectral entity. What now?

Mrs. Bennet: No living soul? Then you must die!

she wuz vengeful she wanted 2 kill us n since i had 2 be a good boy i cudnt give her a living soul! flames shot from her eyes n burned my skin!

Niki/Jess: Stop her, holy man! Exorcise her!

Jeremiah: I can't! Jehovah's Witnesses is not a real religion! We have no influence with anything spiritual!

sylarz: wait she doesnt want a human spirit! i no wut she kneads!

it wuz then that i opened my mouth...n vomited out a kitten! lol didnt u kno i had the pwr 2 vomit kittens? come on now im 2 cute 2 be puking puke! gosh! newayz i handed the vomited kitten 2 mrs bennet n she calmed down. she crushed its skull with her spectral fist n added a kitten 2 her ghostly collection!

Mrs. Bennet: It is common knowledge where all cat ladies assemble. Anyone with half a brain knows this. What do cats hate more than anything?

sylarz: lack of brainz?

Niki/Jess: Life?

Jeremiah: Water!

Mrs. Bennet: Indeed, water. So, by that logic, you will be able to find McWhiskers in an underwater base off the coast of California.

Jeremiah: But...that makes no sense!

Mrs. Bennet: Doesn't it? Or does it make so much sense that you have completely lost the concept of what it is to MAKE sense?!

w/ that the bennet lady ghst disappeared! she told us were mcwhiskers wuz! n wear mcwhiskers wuz simon wud be closeby! we r making headway! soon the showdown will happen! toodles!

3 comments:

Kitty said...

think you can puke up a kitty for me?
HRG's mother is quite creepy...

Mr. Bennet said...

Stab the kitties!!!!!

-Candace

Svetlana Smith said...

Oh God, it is true. Comrade Trotsky is seeing to it that cats take over the world.

I thought grandma was just hallucinating again.