the battle of sexiness!

lol look at me! it wuz my catlike grace n intelligence that got me passed the merciless guards. but now i wuz inside the old folks home! oh god it smelt worse than a dead jackie wilcox after rotting 4 a weak!

newayz i wuz inside n 1 of the old ladies at the desk knew i wuz w/ mama c-crest cuz she wuz the only resident cat lady so they picked me up n carried me 2 her room lol! omg good thing i have this toned lil body!

newayz she put me dwn n i wuz in the room alone w/ her. mama c-crest!



she culdnt c very thank god she prolly wud haf fainted do 2 my hotness! newayz...

Mama C-Crest: Gigglepants? Is that you?

me!: mrrreeeow!

Mama C-Crest: Oh Gigglepants, I thought you were dead! Come here and give momma a kiss!

i wlked ovr 2 momma c-crest n licked her cheek. ewww her skin almost fell off! i almost puked up kittens as the taste of mothballs n rotting flesh filled my mouth ewww! newayz it wuz then that c-crest walked out of the bathroom n saw me! he pulled out his handgun n shot at me but i mind trick stopped it!

Mama C-Crest: Ryan! How could you! You killed Gigglepants!

C-Crest: Stay away from him, mother, he's an evil doer!

me!: no lol the evil doer is totally you!

i said that in my hella awsum evil voice lol. as i did that i mind trick pushed him against the wall n started to pull his skull off. but b4 i did he totally used a pwr of his own! not rly a specialness pwr but a pwr newayz! the pwr of sexiness!



look at that man! i totally cudnt do it! i stopped myself from killin him. i guess i DID knead info after all lol.

me!: tell me wear simon is!

C-Crest: Never!

me!: tell me or ill spank u!

C-Crest: You can't do it, can you? You can't kill me. I'm too hot to be killed. Mwahahaha. My evil plan is a success!

me!: mayb not but i cud always man rape u!

C-Crest: Hmmm. Touche. Simon's on an island by the name of Isla Nublar, off the coast of Costa Rica.

me!: sounds familiar...

C-Crest: Most of our evil plans revolve around random references of things, so it should!

me!: i c

i totally gave c-crest a wet willy then (w/ my tongue screw the licking of the fingers) he shrieked n i pranced off. i knew wear simon wuz! i cudnt kill c-crest but i guess its ok 2 leave a hot bod like that in the wrld. off 2 isla nublar lol!