Friday, April 27, 2007

sylar gets his first heckler!

omg! did u guyz read the comment on this post? i got a heckler lol! he called me a homo which i dont care about but he also called u guyz homos and i cant haf that! luckily i haf friendz in hi places. mr glasses! i sent him a im!

sexy_sylar: hi mr glasses!

haxor_rims: You...

sexy_sylar: relax mr glasses i dont want ur daughters brain i just want ur help w/ this guy on my blog did u c him?

haxor_rims: Indeed I did. It seems you are dealing with an internet troll. Very common. Lowly creatures that usually live in their parents' basements and have nothing better to do than bash things that they don't like to make them feel better about themselves and their poor lives.

sexy_sylar: oic

haxor_rims: Don't worry, I can help. I have a...friend who may be of some assistance.

sexy_sylar: awsum! thanx a lot mr glasses!

haxor_rims: Anytime, Gabriel. One more thing...I'm madly in love with you.

sexy_sylar: i luv u 2 mr glasses!

ok ok mayb he didnt rly say that last thing but the rest wuz tru! newayz he wuz able 2 track trollies IP by contacting spoon fed n i wuz on my way 2 his house!

i got their n nocked on his door. a lil ol lady opened it w/ her hand full of a tray of cookies! they smelled good. they'd smell even better w/ brain chips lol.

'im looking 4 a internet troll' i said evilly lol.

"You're looking for sonny. Are you his friend?"

'he has friends? lol. o wait i mean yes yes i am im sylar his bff from hs!'

"Oh, ok. I'm his mother, nice to meet you. He should be in his room at the end of the hall."

i walked down the hall n opened his door. their he wuz the troll sitting at his computer!

'i remember u lol!' i said w/ my devil voice as i mind trick pinned him against the wall!

"'re a homo!"

'uh duh lol i cud haf told u that myself u silly billy goat!' i retorted smartly

"I hope you get AIDS and die!" the silly troll said w/ class n dignity

'mayb i do haf aids lol i cud be cruel n give u my aids n let u die slowly hmmm that wud be kind funie wudnt it? but no i think ill be humane n end ur useless life by tearing open ur skull n eating ur filthy horrible brain that is sumhow less intelligent then mine lol'

so i used my mind trick n tore open his skull n he shrieked like a lil girl lol! he cudnt heal like petey so he didnt put up much of a fight n died real quick. didnt put up much of a fight wen he didnt haf his computer 2 hide bhind lol.

newayz i 8 his brian n wuz rdy 2 go! i walked out of his room n gave the trolls mommy a big smile

'it wuz gr8 2 meet u!' i said w/ my mouth still full of brain n blood all ovr my face

"You too. It is good to see my son actually has a friend."

i giggled at that thought n left the house mission accomplished.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

painting the futre!!!!

so guyz u all no that i killed a smelly hippy insidentaly got hi n now i haf the pwr 2 paint the future! well ive been doing sum drawings n thought i wud show u guyz wut ive come up w/!!!

itz obvious this piccy is from the nuklear winter i cawz! hear we c 2 fearsum warrior peeps ready 2 fight sum1! cud it b me?? mayb! i hope so! i bet that 1 guy has sword generation pwrs lol!!!

a couple more special peeps! i dont no wut these guyz r good 4 but they shure look happy! thatll change wen im tearing there skull open n eating there brian lol

wut cud this be lol? i no! i think its me! yes! mecca sylar wen ive gotten evry special peep pwr their iz lol! i may not b as sexy as mecca sylar but i shure am special! i dont think i wud be able 2 be stopped! i cud eat all the brains in the wrld n destroy mankind for no reason bcuz i haf no motif left!!!

my last 1...wut is this?? nooooooooo! i found luv it seems but...w/ that big green thing?? it cant be!!! i wont accept it! this will be my undoing?? my downfall?? i find luv in the fat green n ugly not the sexy hot n manly? i cant let this happen! i must change the future!

Tuesday, April 24, 2007


omg i wuz so hi n hungry i totally kneaded sumthing 2 eat! so u no wut? it wuz time 4 a good ol fashioned killing spree! i hafnt rly been on 1 since my cross country adventure so i figured it wuz about time! unfrotuneatly i wuz in manhattan n wud cause a seen w/ a spree so i kneaded 2 go sumwhere no 1 cared jersey!

once there n in a sity i wuz quickly greated by the local wildlife! a daughter of the street came up to me

icky prostitute woman: Lookin' for a good time, honey?

me!: ewwwww no ur a grl!!!!

she wuz licking her lips provocatively n i mind trick pulled her tongue out. she tried 2 scream but cudnt lol it wuz so funie! i totally froze her n her nippies stuck out how embarrassing! then i feasted on her brian.

a women then stepped out of a cab after a night of drinking. she had 2 wlk dwn a dark alley 2 get home n i followed her. she strted wlking faster n noticed i wuz behind her n she like turned around n omg tried to spray me with girly spray but i mind trick stopped her!

Woman: Please don't rape me!

me!: lolz dont flatter urself!

mmmm anuther brian in the belly as i tore her apart. 1 more target! a man w/ a garbage bag came up 2 me n showed me wut wuz inside

Street Hustler: Wanna buy a watch, man?

me!: timepeace lolz

Street Hustler: What the hell is a time piece?

me!: ur broken u silly billy goat!

i proseeded 2 brutally tare open his skull! he let out a bloodcurdling scream n i giggled in response as i removed his supple brain n took a bite

omg these brians were so good! they had nvr tasted this good b4. heavenly! my taste buds were dancing in joy as i feasted! i wish i cud alwayz xperience this but i had no stoned hippy brian left to amplify my taste buds! 2 bad but it wuz good while it lasted! i got 2 go on a killing spree n eat sum tastey brians! o well i had my fun i guess itz back 2 werk. i knead 2 find more pwrs!

Monday, April 23, 2007

manic depressive!

omfg so yea i totally went back 2 mohindys house n saw that he n petey were both still sporked 2 the ceiling n wall respectively just were i left them it made me feel good!

well u no i wuznt feeling like it wuz time 2 finish the job yet. i dont no y but it doesnt just seem like the write time yet! maybe on monday yes monday that wud be good!

newayz since i wuznt in a killing mood their wuznt much else 2 do but sit back relax n have a cup of chai! i almost drank evil mohindys poisoned chai but my wits were 2 smart 4 him so i thru it in his face n giggled!

so w/ no chai i had nothing 2 do but shoot the wind! iz that the write xpression? i think so! im so bad w/ these things. that wuz more mohindys territory. o wut a team we made but no more! i culdnt talk 2 mohindy bcuz he tried 2 kill me n broke my lil sylar heart. so they're wuz only 1 choice 2 go w/...the emo 1.

me!: omg like hi!

Peter: "Hi?" Such a meaningless phrase of emptiness from a man devoid of all emotional capabilities.

me!: wut do u mean? i luv things! i luv boys! milo ventimiglia is hot!

Peter: A man capable of killing innocent human beings is not capable of feeling the dark emotion of love. A man must be able to feel emotional pain to know love. You obviously do not.

me!: that hurts! i kin feel things! im human! im just totally special lol!

Peter: If by "special" you mean the metaphorical equivalent of the heartbreak of your first love leaving you for a more masculine man, then I agree.

me!: ur worse 2 talk 2 than mohindy!

Peter: From one who is so emotional crippled and as shallow as you, I am not surprised. You act like a cheerleader, the most shallow of all beings.

me!: omg thanx im glad u noticed! do u like my nails

Peter: No, they're petrifying.

me!: o so thats how it is huh? well then mayb we shud get write back 2 it!

so it wuz time 2 finish petey off. i removed the sporks from him n mohindy n held them tight w/ my mind trick instead! i raised my arm in the pose that i had left petey n mohindy in the last time i saw them n continued from wear i had left off....

Sunday, April 22, 2007

omfg macys!!! (the birth of santa sylar)

omfg it wuz time 2 do sum shoppin b4 i went 2 go visit mohindy n petey n kill em off lol! i got their n browsed there purses. i had enuf dresses since i wuz a good dress maker but not many alligater skin purses so i got 1 cuz it made me look hot!

newayz on my way 2 check out i saw santa! yes santa! remember itz sumtime between oct 2 n nov 8? yes i haf been in captivity 4 a month had a cross country journey killed heroes w/ mohindy n hunted down simon cowell all in a months time kin u belief it?

yes newayz it wuz sum day b4 nov 8 n santa wuz in macys! i totally wanted 2 ask him 4 sum brains 4 christmas since i am a magical princess n i still belief in his power! hmmm mayb he had a pwr? he CUD travel the wrld delivering presents 2 evry grl n boy in a night! he must be special! i must kill him!

so i waited 4 santa 2 take a brake n he did! he went out 2 snort a line of sumthing sugar i think it wuz! newayz he turned n saw me in my prty dress n his jaw like dropped at my sexiness! n then he puked but thatz neither here nor their! so u no i killed him no biggie n 8 his brain but their wuz no pwr! uh oh! n i herd kiddies cryin out in line w8ing 4 santa. hmmm...mayb i cud get a pwr from them c if they were broken wen they sat on my lap! so i put on santas suit n went out there!

sadly 4 me no kiddies were broken. no specialness 4 me! but i did get 2 feel warm n fuzzy as i spread the magic of christmis 2 the children! ive nvr felt so alive! until i 8 the last kiddies brain 4 fun cuz i wuz hungry. oops! o well i wuz nice 4 a while thats more than kin b xpected of lil ol me! i guess itz time 2 go find petey n mohindy. toodles!

Friday, April 20, 2007

like omg yatta!

omg omg! look at me im totally finally back in the awsum sity of ny! yatta hella yatta lol! i haf no idea wut that werd means but i think it means im hot n thats so totally tru!

newayz it wuz gonna be a hella bizy time 4 me cuz i had a lot of stuff 2 do! of course the big thing wuz 2 finish off petey n mohindy but i had other things 2 do 1st! in fact i thoght it wud be a good time 2 relax so i took a lil trip 2 central park!

i sat on a park bench! it wuz sum nice seenery let me tell u! no im not talkin bout the greens but the boyz! boys running walkin there dogs. it wuz heaven! i had totally forgotten how much i liked comin 2 this place! i guess murdering peeps 2 steel there pwrs kin kind of make u forget wear u came from! but i remembered now n boy wuz it good!

it wuz then that a smelly hobo came up 2 me beggin 4 money. if theres nething i hate itz smelly hobos! i tried to restrain my killing urges that i seem 2 haf so often bcuz i wuz enjoying the seenery n didnt want 2 haf 2 leaf. but he wudnt take no 4 a answer! he pulled out a gun n told me 2 give him my money! but i still said no n he said he wuz totally gonna kill me like omg nooo!

me!: u dont wanna do this u silly billy goat!

Hobo: I don't, but you've given me no other choice!

the smelly hobo shot at me! i stopt the bullet w/ my mind trick like i did w/ mohindy. it wuz funnie.

me!: omg! i wuznt begging for my life i wuz totally offering u urs lol!

i wont go in2 the detales on this 1 bcuz well lets just say it wuz a lil gross! i had no use for his brain so i did quiet a number on him! if he had a pwr it wuz only being smelly n useless n those werent pwrs i wanted so i tore him limb from limb! he wuz a bloody mess wen i wuz thru lol. i usually dont like killing 4 no reason but i rly dont like hobos especially 1s that wave shiny things in my face!

so i had 2 run! o well. theres plenty more 2 do in ny n at least i got 2 check 1 thing off my list!

Thursday, April 19, 2007

o wear o wear has my niki/jess gone?

omg hi guyz! so im totally back in amerika but i dont no wut 2 do w/ myself! i guess i shud go to nyc n deal w/ petey n mohindy but im not rly feeling like that yet! actually ive more been thinking of niki/jess! w/ jeremy dead (who wud haf thought a jehovahs witness brian wud be so tastey) n niki/jess missing r alliance iz gone! but actually that iznt my main concern....

wut wuz i thinking allying w/ a special peep who kneads fixing? gosh! my hatred 4 simon totally clouded my judgement! that iz not my mission! my mission is killing as many peeps as i can n gaining specialness along the way! i totally had a special peep write in my grasp n i made friendz w/ her instead of killing her n eating her brian! wuts wrong w/ me! i guess it didnt help that she took me shopping that is a weak pt but still!

so now im hoping 2 find her so i can write my wrong. next time i c her shes like totally dead lol! omg i bet her brain is xtra tastey i so hope i find her!

omg wait a min she kinda reads my blog sumtimes didnt she? oops! dont pay ne attention 2 ne of that niki i totally want 2 find u so we kin team up again it has nothing 2 do w/ brain eating or murder! well mayb murder n brain eating of other people but there will be no eating of ur supple tastey special brain that i cud totally use 2 get myself super pwrs! so if u read this come back niki! i knead, friendship n teamwork n allies n brainz!

n if ur not niki mayb u guyz cud help! ive been posting flyers up evrywear in hopes of finding niki/jess! hopefully sum1 will c her n call me! if not mayb u guyz cud help n post sum of these flyers 2! omg like thanx ill ttyl!

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

xcape from jurassic park!!!

i ran! i used my super speed omg it wuz the only thing that kept me ahead of that skurry dino ^

but i wuznt gaining ne ground! i like kneaded a distraction sumhow! mayb if i fed him hed leaf me alone! so i used my navigational skills 2 find other peeps. n find them i did! it wuz a spoiled princess n her daddy!

Brat: But daddy, I don't want to leave, I want to see American Idol!

Daddy: They've all left, Veruca, the dinosaurs have escaped, we need to get out of here!

Brat: I'm not leaving until I see Sanjaya.

me! (as i ran bye): sanjaya is totally t-rex food lol!

Daddy: See? That bearded girl is running; we have to get out of here!

the daddy pulled out a book n showed sumthing 2 the girl. it wuz a piccy of the dino chasing me.

Daddy: Look! This is one of the things that's out there! We'll be trouble if we run in to one of these!

Brat: That doesn't look very scary...more like a six-foot turkey!

it wuz then that the dino got 2 them! it jumped thru the air n clawed the girly across the stomack. i looked back. u shud haf scene her face as her guts came spilling out onto the ground lol it wuz sooo funny! i mean not as funny as wen i tear off peeps skulls n eat there brainz but still prty good! the dino bit into her face and the daddy ran away! anuther dino came jumping out of the jungle on top of him n tore him in 1/2. i giggled as i ran!

newayz i finally got 2 a helipad w/ a helicopter that wuz about 2 take off! they didnt c me n were about 2 go! i wuz gonna jump onto the rail at the bottom but b4 i cud jeremy came running out of the jungle!

Jeremy: Sylar!

me!: omg jeremy! ur alive! weres simon?

Jeremy: He left as soon as the dinosaurs broke loose! He's gone! But boy am I glad to see you! We have to get out of here! We need to pray to God for aid!

me!: so u dont no wear simon went?

the helicopter started 2 lift away. we both looked up @ it

Jeremy: No! He's been torturing me! Both of my arms are broken! I can't hold on to that helicopter! You need to help me!

well carrying heavy things rly wuznt my things. n he didnt even no wear simon wuz! n he wud prolly want me 2 bcome godly n stuff wen we got back! jeremy wuz bcoming a nusance n i wuz hungry again. i totally tore open his skull. i giggled like a schoolgirl as the shock crossed his face! he wuz still alive as i started 2 eat his brain write in his skull lol. but i didnt haf time 2 eat the hole thing :( so i jumped up n grabbed onto the helicopter leafing jeremys rotting corpse n half eaten brain on the ground! as we lifted away some dinos came n started eating jeremys corpse! no free life 4 this 1! sorry jeremy!

well i had no idea wear simon wuz now n it has been a long time since i left mohindy n emo peter in new york sporked 2 wall n ceiling! i think i shud prolly go check on them! but simon is not forgetten. once i get a lead on him i will finish the job! hehehe!

rip jeremy n bratty girl

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

omg im like totally back!!!

omg guyz! ull nvr belief wut happened! simon totally captured me! well his goons did newayz...

yea thats the meanie who took me away! :'(

newayz i wuz brought b4 simon who wuz being fed grapes by sanjaya. he wuz totally evil n took my laptop away n sanjaya sang a single note n caused the laptop 2 totally xplode! noooooO! i cried n cried n cried cuz i cudnt come on hear n tlk 2 u guys! i wuz as sad as a emo peter who got a de-emoed haircut.

newayz...simon being the mean poopyhead that he wuz...dcided not 2 kill me but 2 torture me! they subdoed me w/ a mind trick blocking iv thingie (mohindy style) n totally had sanjaya sing! my sensitive ears w/ there sensitive hearing wuz like almost gonna xplode! it wuz torture!

but luckily 4 me i wuz able 2 turn off the iv w/ my mind (even tho the iv wuz supposedly subdoing my mind trick (hmmm another plot hole (the 1st 1 being when i turned off mohindys iv w/ my mind (even tho it wuz supposedly subdoing my mind trick))). newayz sumhow i totally did it even tho i shudnt haf been able 2!

newayz sanjaya saw me mind trick untie myself n totally ran off screaming like a girl even more girly than me i dont no how that cud be possible. but i didnt get 2 kill him n i totally kneaded a brain. newayz i left the room n found a spare laptop yes n thats how i kin talk 2 u all again! im so happy! newayz i left the building i wuz in. it wuz totally empty i didnt no wear ne1 wuz! i didnt no wear niki/jess or jeremy wuz!

newayz once i got outside i realized y evry1 had left as sanjaya got eaten by a rampagous t-rex on the loose! luckily 4 him bad singers cant be digested so i new he wud be pooed out unharmed. but there were dinos on the loose! i totally had to xcape so i ran while trex wuz feasting on sanjaya!

so it wuznt long b4 i ran into this guy stalking sumthing in the bush. i totally new he wud be able 2 help me! he wuz looking at sumthing out in the jungle. i stepped up behind him n giggled. he turned 2 look at me n his eyes bulged like the pants of a hot boy who sees me in a dress!

sylarz: omg hi!!!

Muldoon: Clever girl.

i totally mind tricked open his skull n tore it off n mauled him like a ostrich in heat! xcept by ostrich i mean transvestite n by heat i mean hunger. i feasted on his brian. he totaly DID help me! i wuznt hungry nemore lol!

newayz it wuz then that i noticed wut he wuz looking at. little mean dinos! they charged at me! omg i prolly shudnt haf killed that guy!!!