Saturday, December 29, 2007

One Last Hurrah (For Now)!

Well, Sylarkins thinks its about time for a bloggin' hiatus; with not much new goin' on in my life, it's hard to keep an updated diary lol! But I'll still be posting on Burnt Toast Diner, so look for me there! Anyways, before I go into hibernation, I have one more song for you! A compilation me 'n Petey did together called "Let Him Kill," lol!
This = Me singing
This = Peter singing
This = Both of us singing

Oh the Sylar outside is frightful
But the brains are so delightful
And since we've no reason to live
Let him kill, let him kill, let him kill!

He doesn't show signs of stopping
And I've got some skulls for the lopping
My life isn't worth a bill
Let him kill, let him kill, let him kill!

When I finally turn to men
How I'll hate defacing your hot bod
Well you better kiss me then
You're dead and I've still got your rod!

Well I am slowly dying
Your brain's tastey, I ain't lyin'
As long as you get your fill
Let him kill, let him kill, let him kill!

Lol. Unfortunately, Petey's not dead. This is just his like, fantasy! Well, with that, I'll say toodles! Don't worry, I'll be back! And remember to look for me on Burnt Toast!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Writer's Strike 2: Scab Sylar!

After my silly standoff with the Pres. of NBC, I scampered off, like a cute, fluffy, homicidal, brain-eating squirrel, off to destroy the writers themselves!

After a few shopping stops on the way (I like, had to look my best for every murder. After all, the first impression is the only impression for peeps I kill, lol), I made it to the writer's strike picket line!

I stepped up to the line. This was going to be easier than I thought! These writers were sicky gross! Like a cockroach with Herpes! The strongest, most fearsome kind! It was like, totally obvious why these peeps were like, behind the scenes! Look!

Eeek! I know, I was like, totally skerred too, OMG! But I knew what I had to do! I went up to this thing, 'n like, shook my hot butt in front of his face!

"What are you doing?" it asked.

"Lol! I'm turning you on you sexy, sexy man! And you can get a whole lot more if you start writing my favorite shows again, like 21 Jump Street!"

"Uh, I'm a woman."

A woman?! OMG, no! My like, whole plan was foiled! Well, time for plan B! Murder!

"Super mind trick, activate!" I shouted, like, totally activiting my mind trick. But before I could kill the freakish gross cow of the man beast, I heard a voice shout!


OMG! It was totally my nemesis! Well, my nemesis from my lost post anyways, lol! The Pres. of NBC! He had...ZOMBIE POWER! :o

"Sylar, don't do it! His brain is virginal and stringy! It'll give you indigestion! I was wrong. You are Sylar! I want you to write for Heroes! Come up with some new whacky adventures for...yourself!"

"OMG! So you're saying I'm NOT Zachary Quinto? Who am I then?"


I giggled at him. "Nope! Not good enough! Say it the right way!"

Zombie Pres. sighed. "Do I have to?" I nodded. "Fine. YOUR NAME IS SYLAR!"

"Boom," I giggled. "Well, I guess, I could be your scab or something. There's just one more thing!"

"What's that?"

Well, I have to say, I was getting hungry, lol, and that was kinda the "one more thing." I tore open his skull, and reached for his brain.

"Um, Sylar? You already ate it."

"Oh yeah, lol! Fine! I'll write for you! Even without stealing your super cute zombie powers!"

I was happy! I was going to be a writer! This was like, cause for celebration! I put on my Santa outfit and went out to celebrate!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

The Writer's Strike! (Pt. 1)

OMG! All my favorite shows, like, aren't on anymore! And it's all cause of this darn writer's strike! The OC! Melrose Place! 90210! All not on because these poopyheads won't write! Well, I'm a writer! I thought I'd go to NBC headquarters and demand them accept my writing talents or like, die, lol!

So off I went, to see the President of NBC himself! I was like, totally surprised that I got in without much of a hassle, 'n could frolic around the elegant NBC grounds freely!

I was a little disappointed because, you know, killing people's fun 'n stuff. But anyways, I got all the way to the President of NBC's office, 'n wouldn't have had to kill any peeps, but I was hungry, so I tore out a few brains 'n had lunch on the way, lol!

The Pres greeted me with a warm smile. I had never been smiled at once before in my life! Well, I like to think that my hunk Mohindy has, but then I think I may be lying to myself. Anyways, he shook my hand, hard, like a man! He frowned as he shook my limp grip, lol, but I've gotta be ladylike!

"Zachary! What brings you here? You know we have no work to give you with the writer's on strike!"

I was, like, totally confused! "Zachary?" I asked, "No, my name is Sylar," I said calmly, but with slight sexy anger.

"Hahahaha!" the President guffawed like a pregnant donkey! "Good one, Zachary!"

"My name is Sylar," I said again, my anger rising!

"Ok, Zachary, let's not beat a dead horse, here," the President said, with a small laugh.

Well, I had no idea what beating a dead horse had to do with anything, but it totally sounded fun! Hmmm, maybe horsey brain tasted good? I'd never tried it! I'll have to sometime, lol! But I was getting ahead of myself! I had to get things straight about my name. "MY NAME IS SYLAR!" I shrieked womanly, pressing my hands against imaginary glass between me 'n the Pres 'n drooling rabidly! It was not pretty, but necessary, lol!

"No, Zachary. Your name is Zachary Quinto. Sylar is a character you play on TV. Sylar doesn't really exist. He's the Jessica to your Niki, if you will."

"How do you know Niki?!" I shrieked like a clubbed Nancy Kerrigan!

"She is a creation of NBC, Mr. Quinto," the Pres said evilly! He was like...Walt Disney or somethin'!

I was goin' crazy! Was I just made up?! A split personality of some unspecial, unsexy loser actor? It couldn't be! Well, there was only one way to find out, I lifted a finger to his skull, ready to use my mind trick!

"What are you doing, Zachary? Trying to use telekinesis?" He giggled at me! "Go ahead and try."

"I will!" I shrieked! I close my eyes and used my mind trick! I was expecting the Pres to be right! I was expecting to open my eyes and see him there, laughing at me!

Well, I opened my eyes...and found a dead Pres with half his skull cut off. Lol! I guess Sylarz do exist after all! The only problem...was that I was supposed to demand that the Pres make me a writer, and now he was dead! Oh well, I guess I'd have to go to the writers themselves! Uh oh, the Pres' brain was starting to ooze out! 'N I had just eaten a full meal and was like, totally full!

I wrapped up the brain in a doggie bag (I always keep a few on me for such emergencies, lol), and went off to find the writers...

Tuesday, December 4, 2007


The whiney sexy Maya was like, dead! Mohindy came back! He gave me my powers back! He didn't love me. But he was about to be dead too! And then I'd love him! But like, Maya was alive again! OMG! So, like, things didn't go totally according to plan, but the most importantest part is that I'm back to my watch making, boy watching, brain eating self, lol!

I injected myself with Claire Bear blood, and as I did, I totally felt the power of the cheerleader flow through my blood or something! I knew I could totally let out the cheer of rabid, bloodthirsty cheerleader! And that made me happy. I like, tested my power on a can or something! Success! All that was left was, like, a live test subject or something! And Mohindy had prolly already run away like a lil boy who likes to pretend to be a girl and gets made fun of as a youth but ends up growing up to be an insane cereal killer who kills the make-funners. So I just like, decided to use my mind trick against the first thing I came across, lol! And in NYC, what else would that be but a crack head? Lol!

I saw this guy around the corner. He looked totally icky, and a big reason I like, haven't been able to kill these smelly hobos is because I don't like to get my dainty hands dirty. And now I didn't have to! But I didn't want to kill him out in the open. So I tied a penny to a string, and threw it out in front of him to lure him into my alley of villainy or something!

"Crack money!" said the crackhead, lol.

He reached over to grab it, but I tugged on the string! He like, ran to get it again, but I tugged again! He kept chasing it into my alley until I pulled it to me and picked up my penny, smiling evilly and sexfully at the smelly crackhead!

He looked at my pitifully with his sexy, bloodshot crackhead eyes, and I didn't think I had the heart to do it! I mean, it's been like, so totally long since I've been a bloodthirsty cereal killer! I hadn't even killed anyone in like, forever! Except for Candice. Oh, and that random guy that rode with us in smelly Maya & Alejandro land. Oh, and sexy Alejandro. Oh, and Maya. But she doesn't count, 'cause she's alive again and I like, was totally planning that! I definitely was! So how could I kill this cute lil crackhead with so lil recent killing experience? Three people in a few weeks?! In used to be like, three people in a few minutes, lol!

It was then that it happened. The crackhead puked on my cute new shoes. "NOOoooOOocoOOOooOOOoooOOOoOO!" I shrieked! My super mind trick was put to use, and it like, worked like a knife going through cement, lol! I chopped the top of his head off and tore forth his brain and sank my teeth in! Oh, like, sweet, tastey brain! It's been so long since I've tasted your tastfully tastey goodness! Well, this one wasn't so good. It kinda tasted like crack or some junk. But it was brain!

And now my adventures will continue! I feel like my addiction to crack...I mean, brains has totally returned! I will continue eating, brains, until my hunger for power and crack...uh, brains, has been satisfied! Until then, I will hopefully be able to post weekly (on or around Tuesday) about my brain eating adventures and other stuff! If I forget a week or two, don't fret, I'll return! So now, off I go, in search of some nice, tastey, powerful crack!