Wednesday, February 28, 2007

sylarz amerikan dream!

so as uve prolly heard from lana n my last post i am like totally tryin out 4 amerikan idol! ive always wanted 2 b a hot young singer like kelly clarkson but just nvr had the talent! so i guess i shud start at the beginning.

if i wuz gonna try out i wuz gonna need sum hella talent! n as we all no normally im not very special but wen i steal OTHER peeps specialnesses i bcome a hyena of greatness! mayb i cud use this idea on singing? becuz i think we all no im not a very good singer lol. once at a bar i got a bottle thrown at me n it hit me in the head n i swooned! it wuz ok tho i killed that guy w/ my mind trick write after i got it!

newayz if sum1 had the pwr of singing who wud it b? obviously it wud b 1 of the best singers out theyre. 1 who wuz xperienced n hot n cud dance. 1 onces voice wuz like a sirens call that lured the astroknots of pluto! thats write im talking about britney speers! n if only i cud harness her singing pwr i cud bcome siren sylar!

lol silly artist that isnt pluto they got it all rong! newayz i found britney shaking her baby 2 sleep in her home in cali. she saw me n it wuz gonna be a showdown like no other! she saw me n bgun the battle by kissing her latina maid! i guess it wudnt be a hella showdown after all she blew it write away! hot girl on girl action wont werk on me im immune! i like boyz!

with the flash of a flashey thing i mind tricked her aginst the wall! it wuz over. not much of a battle! but b4 i cud pry her delicate skull open i realized...i like cudnt do it! i respected her 2 much. i mean wut a singer and wut a classy girl! no i cudnt kill her! but i had a btter idea.

i shaved her head and gently mind tricked her skull off. i took only the lil part of the brain i needed n ate it. i wuz still hungry but sacrifices had 2 be made for this pop goddess! i put her skull back on and alex mack-ed her skull back 2gether with my zane taylor pwr! hmm. i wundered if that lil peace of brian i ate wuz important 4 nething other than singing specialness? i axed her.

sylarz: britney. r u ok?

Oh baby, baby: Fergasa bread crumb trail led me to the wilds of Zanzibar where Obama would one day be Emperor of the Queen Mary. Do you have a fiddlestick in your teeth?

sylarz: lol! same ol britney!

Oh baby, baby: Buelmont was a very happy geoduck until one summer many moons ago the Indians were stolen by corn. Dadaer Veroicious is the beromane ofer queklain phar.

lol she sounded like mr glasses! i wunder if he had been listening 2 her music r sumthing? newayz it wuz about then she fell right down onto the floor n took a little nap! she drooled all over the floor lol. i felt like such a humanitarian like not killing sum1 4 pwrs and all!

but now i haf my power of siren song n wuz rdy 2 take on amerkan idol! the flashback part of this story iz totally over n well get back 2 the present story next time! toodles!

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

sylarz n the amerikan idol of doom!

i hate simon! hes such a meanie! in case u didnt no im kinda competing in amerikan idol write now. i made it 2 la no thanx 2 simon but now i haf 2 preform! but unfortunately this wuznt the best time as i wuz busy hafing twinlike bonds with mr glasses!

n on top of that i wuz nervous. luckily the caterers had the meal i requested! hear i am backstage b4 i preformed!

newayz it wuz my turn 2 go out. this time i wuznt gonna take nething from simon! if he gave me 1 bad word it wuz totally mind trick time!

i went out on the stage n simon didnt even give me a chance!

"Up next...Sexy Sylar. Mind if I smoke a fag while you perform, guvnah?"

did he just...o no he dit-ent! and amidst his insult he lit up a cigarette 2 smoke! the nerve!

i wuz angry it wuz mind trick time. no more simon cowell i wud finally be doing sumthing positive 4 the world! but b4 i cud sumthing happened! it wuz a sharp pain in my tummy. i new wut it wuz. my twinlike connection 2 mr glasses wuz acting up! he wuz in pain. this wuz like that movie w/ that hot older guy where their wuz sum voodoo action going on!

darn this connection! darn this connection 2 heck! it wuz totally stopping my killing of simon! look heres wut happened!

i fell ovr in pain unable 2 finish my job! it lookd like simon wud live anuther day mr glasses'seseses pain wuz just 2 much 4 me 2 bear! i had 2 save him! but...amerikan idol. my dreamz! wut cud i do! paula and the fat 1 even said i cud perform later wen i wuznt seizuring on stage! it must be a sign! im sorry mr glasses ill come 4 u l8r. write now i haf sum idol 2 win!

Monday, February 26, 2007

prev on mmmm brains...

omg anon person like totally got my song write! it is trapped in a closet! wut a song!

itz been a busy week! ever since killing bizarro sylar aka boy girl dale smither ive been lazy in my hotel room 4 a good part of it doing things like reminiscing (1 of those rare big werds u find from me) and changing my blog look.

but ive also been prty busy this week 2! ive nursed mohindy bck 2 health (n almost got sum action along the way lol!) n now were almost rdy 2 strt adventuring again! i took a trip dwn mem lane having like an awsum homecoming at burnt toast! it wuznt as good as being a cheerleader 4 a ftball homecming but it wuz still prty good. n i even competed in amerikan idol! that iz a whole nother adventure n ill get into it l8r. itz hard balancing all these things while trying 2 eat brainz! im just like 1 of the pop girls in skool with all sorts of extra cirriculars instead of dorky gabriel w/ band and choir.

but newayz now that mohindy n i r ready 2 go. sumthing haz been bothering me. u no that feeling that twins get wen 1 or the other is in trooble? well i ate a pair of twin brains a few months ago lol! i wuznt sure it wuz a pwr becuz ive never felt nething b4 but it like seems like it iz!

ive totally like formed a connection w/ mr glasses. he may h8 me n want me dead but he iz totally just hiding his feelings! he haf a connection! i even like copied my blog title 2day after him! were just playful like that.

newayz becuz of this twinlike connection ive formed w/ him...even tho we are in NO wayz twins! god 2 look that dorky wud be horrible im glad the connection didnt entail looks! newayz becuz of this connection i haf this feeling of total dread recently. i haf like the scariest feeling that sumthing bad iz gonna happen 2 mr glasses! itz like that feeling i had after i killed hank n wuz hiding in the cell w8ing 4 him to come back! only this feeling is more REAL, yo. oops my hank impression just slipped in their a lil bit lol! newayz i wish i cud help him but i think hes still in so much denial about his feelings that he may try 2 kill me if he cs me! oh n it might spoil my ruse with mohindy. sumtimes i forget im zane taylor! good thing mohindy haznt seemed 2 notice the times ive referred 2 myself as sexy sylar. i think he thought i wuz joking. wut a sense of humor i have joking about the guy who killed his papa oh i mean me!

newayz i guess mr glasses is on his own. i hope he stays safe. dont die mr glasses i cant live without u!!!!

Sunday, February 25, 2007

name that tune rnd 2!

sry guyz i didnt haf time to right a real post 2day. but the good news is that i haf a knew song stuck in my head so lets c if u kin get it! 4 those of u around 4 the first one the answr wuz 'summer girls' by lfo! now heres the next 1. its prty easy but its 1 of my favs! o itz so such a peace of poetry n deep in metaphors i dont even no how such a peace of literature cud be written! no cheatin n good luck!!!

Now he's staring at me like
As if he was starin in a mirror
She yells honey let me explain
He says you don’t have to go no further
I can clearly see what’s goin on
Behind my back, in my bed, in my home
Then I said wait a minute now hold on
I said mister we can work this out
She said honey don’t lose control
Tried to get him to calm down
He said ho I should’ve known
That you would go and do some bogus s*** up in my house
But the Christian in me gave you the benefit of the doubt
I said we need to resolve this
Then he stepped to me, I’m like whoa
There’s a reason I’m in this closet
He says, yeah like what, are you talkin clothes
I met this girl at the Paje's club
And she told me she didn’t have a man
Then he said man please,
I’d kill you if you didn’t have that gun in ya hand
And I said but yo chick chose me
He said don’t give me that mack s*** please
His phone goes off and then things get a little more interesting
He steps a little closer
I point my gun and says I’m not the one you after
He says somethin I bet you didn’t know my man
Did she tell you that I was a pastor
I said well good that’s betta right
Why can’t we handle this Christian-like
And I started to put the gun down
Til I saw his face still had a frown
She started cryin, sayin baby I’m sorry
Then he said baby not as sorry as you’re gonna be
I started inchin out
He says no I want you to see this
Said I gotta get out this house
He said not til I reveal my secret
I’m like what is goin on inside his head
Then he takes his phone and calls somebody up and says
Hello, Baby, turn the car around
Listen I just need for you to get right back here now (Click)
He looks at me and says well since we're all comin out the closet
I'm not about to be the only one that's broken hearted
She said what do you mean
And he said just wait and see
I said somebody betta talk to me
And then his phone rang
He picks up and somebody says sweetheart I’m downstairs
And he’s like I’ll buzz you up
I’m on the fifth floor, hurry take the stairs
And I’m like who is this mystery lady that you’re talking to
He says in time you both will know the shockin truth
Baby this is something I been wanting to get off my chest for a long, long time
Then I said, "Jigga, I'mma shoot you both if you don’t say what’s on ya mind
He said wait I hear somebody comin up the stairs
And I’m lookin' at the door
He says I think you betta sit down in the chair
I says I’m gonna count to four
1, he says mister wait
2, she says please don’t shoot
3, he says don’t shoot me
4, she screams
Then a knock at the door, the guns in my hands
He opens the door, I can't believe - it's a man

Saturday, February 24, 2007

SPOILERZ (lol @ self referential humor pt 2)

lol @ self referential humor! (pt1)

ok i think its time 4 me to set 1 thing strait n wut better place 2 do it than @ my blog w/ my friendz! (even u mr glasses). i no u guyz haf sum questions about sum of my pwrs espec how i xcape so quickly like wen the pudgy dislexic guy shot me or wen mr glasses shot me (i get shot a lot lol!) so heres how i do it. i haf...super speed! thats right u heard it here. super speed iz 1 of my pwrs and ive had it this hole time uve nown me!

i no u may be skeptical. wut proof do i have u ask? well its simple! i have 2 sources alrdy! 1 is me! u get it strait from the horses ass! hmm i dont think im using that fraze right lol o well. newayz, wut better source to no about me then me? i guess maybe reputable web sites that have spoilers. so ill give u those 2. that website with this truthful information is...this 1! that PROOFS me havin super speed is canon! newayz if thats not enough for u i haf a feelin another reputable srce will be backing up my claim soon!

so how did i get this pwr u may ask? omg its simple! write after i killed that nerdy brain davis i frolicked out 2 the dessert! there wuz 1 reason 2 be out there and 1 reason alone! it wuz like, tastey brainz! tastey roadrunner brains!

n i had an advantage ovr coyote! i had my super mind trick! n i used it well it got me sum tastey roadrunner brain that had eluded poor coyote 4 years. i ran 2 try out my knew pwr! i had it! i wuz like super fast lol!

but my adventure wuznt over. no. maybe this adventure wuz were mr glasses got his fantasy of killing me becuz THIS wuz r real 1st meeting n i ended up on top! thats wut (s)he said lol.

all of a sudden i heard sum1 yell "sylarz!" i saw a man at the end of the highway looking at me w angry eyes! he h8ed me from the beginning!

it wuz mr glasses! i had no idea we wud end up so close l8r. but newayz he raised his primatech gun n strted shooting at me! it wuz like time 2 try out my knew pwr so i ran!

but mr glasses oh hes such a smrt man. he had totally like thought i might be super duper fast so he strapped on his rocket-powered roller blades! gosh mr glasses u even had 2 be nerdy back then! he zoomed down the highway liek a rocket-powered nerdy glasses guy!

i like ran n ran until i reached the edge of a cliff! mr glasses wuz right on my tail shooting @ me but i had no other choice but 2 put on the breaks! i stopped right @ the edge of the cliff! poor mr glasses'ses breaks didnt werk as well!

whoops! lol. poor mr glasses. im glad he ended up ok!

that pic reminded me of anuther thing! look how ugly i wuz! that wuz still in my shadowy figure days. luckily ive found a sense of style since then! newayz im rambling. i hope u enjoyed my story of how i got my supper speed! and now u no 1 of my secrets that they dont want u 2 no lol! toodles.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

nurse sylar!

omg guyz! ive been busy werkin on my blog n such but now ive nurseed mohindy back 2 health! hes been sick but now hes as strong as a star quarterback that 1 day i wud hope 2 marry. and its all thanks 2 my nurse werk lol!

wut wuz rong with him u ask? well lets just say he doesnt have a strong tummy 4 violence like sylarz does! hes been puking n sweating like a svetlana in a fat camp! i think he wuz in shock or sumthing. that iz totally my diagnosis. 2 bad i haf no idea wut im talking about lol.

it all went hrrbly rong wen he saw my handywork w/ bizzaro sylar aka dale the boy girl. he cudnt handle himself n wuz stumbling all over the place like me on 3 wine coolers!!!

newayz ive been watching over him but he hasnt gotten ne better so i like had 2 do sumthing! well cing as how im actually a prty bad nurse (i wuz practicin sewing on a cut of mine once n totally lost the needle inside of it. hmmm it wuz a cut on my skull this cud like xplain a lot of things lol) i only realy new how 2 do 1 thing! n thats a sponge bath.

i got my water n sponges all rdy. mohindy wuz asleep n trembling. i unbuttoned mohindys shirt omg wut a chest he had! i started 2 undo his fly and...mohindy woke up! it wuz totally like a miracle! he wuz kinda confused by wut i wuz doing so i xplained n offered 2 give him the bath newayz. he turned me down :(

but thats ok! i totally did it! i totally nursed him back 2 health. he didnt say "ur totally my hero" wich i xpected but thats ok 2. hes back n rdy 2 go n we kin go out on adventures again! yay!

o by the way wut do u guys think of my knew look on the blog??

fello bloggers!!!

hey guyz! mohindys kinda been in shock n hasnt been able 2 move all day so were kinda stuck here in this motel. i guess my silly murder did quiet a number on him lol!

newayz since i havent been able 2 have ne adventures ive been working on updating my blog! as u kin see ive listed my top 5 fav blog posts of mine. so if ur a knew reader u kin go back n check sum of my old ones. my 1st post on burnt toast is actually 1 of my favs!

but on top of that i wanna link 2 the top posts of sum of u other bloggers espec the burnt toast 1s! i haf sum ideas 4 sum of u already. the china 1 4 mr glasses (or mayb nailed?). the dale 1 for lana (lol sry 4 killing ur cousin). tongue typin 4 niki. the sylar 1 for esock. stupid people 4 muggles. the rice cooker 1 4 dl. if u guys haf a diff 1 u wud rather have let me kno and if any of u other readers haf a blog pick ur fav post and link it and ill see if i kin get u in! thanx 4 helpin me make my blog better guyz!!! n check back 2morrow 2 check out wut ive dun w/ the place! ttyl!!!

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

omg i just like totally killed bizarro sylar lol!

ok. ive finally come 2 except it. i am a girly man! ive always thought i just had natural thoughts about liking boyz. after all dont they alwayz say that all guyz go thru a boy liking faze? i thought thatz wut wuz happening 2 me (even tho it wuz like a rly rly long faze). but ive excepted it now! im a girl in a mans body! i like playin dress up n wearing makup n shopping n cheerleading n boyz! how did i like come to this silly idea? well becuz i met n killed my bizarro sylar lol!

while i am a girl in a guyz body this ugly chick wuz totally the other way round. a girlie in a mans body! she even had a boyz name dale and a boyz job fixing cars n getting dirty (a proper girl shud never be getting her hands dirty! this iz y i use my super mind trick 2 kill peeps) seeing her fight against wut she truly wuz made me realize i wuz like totally doing the same thing!

i wundered if the 2 of us were totally mixed up in the rong body. maybe she wuz in mine and i wuz in hers! lol i totally hope not cuz she is like a lot uglier girl than me even with me being a guy. c?

yuck! i here she iz lana's relative sumhow. i hope lana isnt as manly as she! newayz wen faced with my bizarro sylar i had no choice but 2 destroy her. just like the bsb's were alwayz tryin to destroy n sync. those 2 bizarro boy bands cud not exist in the same wrld n neither cud i w/ bizarro sylar! so i killed her pretty good. my new arch-opposite wuz gone. now i kin be at piece w who i am n the wrld is in balance again! er wait...didnt me killing bizarro sylar bring the wrld OUT of balance? maybe i wuznt supposed to kill her at all. oh well i guess i took the correct action 4 being as totally evil as i am.

oh and i got nuther pwr. supper hearing or sumthing! not only did i rid the wrld of a man girl but i got specialer as i did. one bird w two stones lol! ttyl!

Monday, February 19, 2007

sylars silly fan club!

lol i figured it may be a good idea 2 start a fan club! it seems theres a lot of u at the burnt toast diner r like special n i thought this wud be a good place to come together! so i had my friend justin at the primatech paper company right this form 4 u guys 2 like fill out if u wanna join! its totally awsum n totally free! so if ur interested fill this out espec if ur like special then u shud totally do it k thnx!

Name: ____________________________

Reasons you love Sylar (Check all that apply)

__ His sexiness
__ His intellect
__ His specialness
__ His love of fine cuisine
__ His writing
__ His dresses

Powers*: _________________________

Address*: ________________________

City*: ___________________________

Phone*: __________________________

Brain Flavor*: ___________________

Thank you for filling out our form!

* Optional, unless you're special. If you are, then they are mandatory. In fact, you probably shouldn't even be filling out this form unless you're special. And if you are special, you should probably just worry about the asterisked information.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

i kin drink u under the table!

so mohindy and i were lookin 4 this girl. suposedly she wuz special. we found a bar she usualy goes 2. we didnt realy no wut we were lookin 4. so were there mingling wen we see this lil chick.

thats her! she wuz drinkin these guys under the table! big fat guys 2! and they were all losing. no1 cud beat this lil girl i didnt even understand it. so i figured i wuz special so i cud prolly beat her. so i challenged her 2 a drinking contest n thats where we stand now. im gonna document it! ill be stickin 2 wine coolers lol

wine cooler 1 vs straight shot tequila 1

mmmm this stuff is good! i feel jus a lil buzz nothin 2 bad. n she already looks hammered! im gonna win this 4 sure. i mean shes been drinkin alrdy n this iz my 1st drink!

wine cooler 2 vs margarita 6

OMHG i vant evin beleif thi! she kint evem get hwr straw!!! kik thiz iz soooioo funie!

kik mohindy ias wstching he iz laugjing at hert! kik. lokking at him noqw he iz like sooopopooo dreamy! i hop he lieks me.

wen coiler 3 vs voka 12

uh alwkjeg ojawie woieugow laskdjfklsajdfigowg


omg i liked passed out! i think i wuz out 4 like 3 hours. newayz wen i woke up i saw mohindy tlking 2 the girl. he wuz tellin her sumthing about the list n his fathers research. i dont no if he wuz like trying to tell her she wuz on it or just pick her up lol. i hope not the last thing that wud make me jealous! newayz mohindy wuz prty drunk so i got him a cab 2 take him back 2 the hotel. it must have been werid 4 him to sit in the BACK of 1 of those lol.

so then it wuz just me and girly alone. we wuz the only 1s left in the bar other then the bartender. the bartender wuz a prty hot guy so i didnt want 2 kill him so i asked teh girl if she wanted 2 go back 2 my place. she said no. who cud turn down such hotness????

newayz it seemed she wuz the special 1 n i had no other choice! so i like totally had 2 kill her...and the hot bartender 2 (sigh). but wen i ate her brain which totally tasted like alcohol i didnt get drunk! i like totally suceeded! i got the pwr to not get drunk or sumthing! ya! im totally gettin more special day by day!

Friday, February 16, 2007

101 wayz to cook a brain!

hi guyz! latly ive been thinking about my dream! no not my dream to be special or cheer or be with mohinder but anuther dream! a dream 2 be a famous cook were i teach peeps how 2 prepare the bestest dish of all! wut u ask? i think u no. brainz of course!

i already rote a book on the subject u may have seen in profile caleled 101 wayz to eat a brain. i rote it on scraps of toilet paper that my daddy stuffed in my mouth wen i wuz a bad boy. well i think itz abut time 2 adapt my masterpeace 2 the screen!

the funny thing iz, it doesnt really matter wut u cook a brain w/ they taste good prepared ne way. raw boiled broiled fried deep fried jerked poached baked itz all good! in fact u could prolly even roll the brain round in sum shards of glass n it wud still taste great! lol ive totally dun that b4.

newayz if i had a 1st eppie id have a simple recipe. dont wanna do nething that overtakes the brainz flava! so we throw r brain in a pot.

lol doesnt that look like so yummy! wut is it u ask? well its burning sugar water lol! i guess sum peeps wud call it carmel. wut do u think were making in this yummy concocshun. its a candy apple brainz style! mmm mmm! a candy brain! shove sum kind of sharp stick in that supple brain flesh and dig in! u made a tastey treat! espec good 4 around halloween. u can trick kids in2 eating them around that time lol.

so newayz that wud be my idea 4 my 1st show. if i wuznt so busy killing peeps and becoming special i may make a show like this. so wut do u guys think? once i settle down after my adventures r dun do i have a shot w this???

Thursday, February 15, 2007

calling my mom gosh!

so ive been a lil down on myself recently. i realized i have no friendz! well outside of u online guyz the only peeps i have. so newayz i picked up my cell n gave my mom a call. yes even insane tranny brain eaters have moms lol!

me!: hi mom. its sylar

mom: oh hi gabe! how r u doing!

me!: moooom i told u i want to be called sylaaaar. gabe is a stupid name!

mom: oh im sorry hon im just not used 2 it! wut do u need gabe

me!: mom...i dont have ne friends.

mom: wut u mean gabe? uve told me about lots! wuteva happened to that nice family the walkeres?

me!: oh yea them. lol there uh on an expedition 2 mt everest

mom: i thought they had a young daughter?

me!: yeah...well theyre training her to be a marathon runner so thought climbing mt everest wud be good practice.

mom: oh i c. wut about that nice waitress in texas u told me about?

me!: uh yeah. she went off in search of the lost city of atlantis. i sure hope she finds it!

mom: atlantis?

me!: yup thats write! she embarked from iceland last week!

mom: oh ok. well wut about that cheerleader u mentioned?

me!: i killed her.

mom: oh gabe, not again!

lol so yea thats pretty much how it went. my mom didnt make me feel ne better but after i put down the phone mohoindy walked out of the gas station n gave me a smile! wut wuz i thinking i did haf a friend and here he wuz write in front of me! hopefully i can get along w him and not like u no kill him. it wud be nice to haf sum1 to be mine. but only time will tell!

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

backtrackin whoops!

whoopsies! i wuz given sum false info on where zane taylor wuz. he wuznt in ny! he wuz in virginie! and i wuz just there! aaaaarch. stupid maximilian told me the wrong place! who is maximilian u ask? well he is the charlie to my angels (me). he tells me were i need to go n wut i need to do! actually i think maximilian is just a voice in my head since i have no friends. hmmm. im a sad panda.

but newayz sumhow made up maximilian directed me in the write direction of va n i found zane. he had a power to like t-1000-ize metals! now i no wut ur thinking. terminator 2? that is so NOT a chick flick. but arnold wuz real hot in it!

so zanes power seemed prty useless but oh well i hadnt eaten special people brain in like 4ever so i wasted little time in using my famed super mind trick! bam! skull pulled off yummy brain revealed. its so convenient the way i chop off heads the brain stays right in the bottom part like its a bowl lol! so i ate sum brain straight from his head and it wuz like amazing. prolly not as good as pres bush brain but still prty good!

n then sumthing totally awesum happened! a dr suresh came to the place! i think it was chandys sun and wuz totally hot! like omg! he wuz on a search 4 other special peeps n i convinced him to let me join! yay! we wud be like a crime fighting team! xcept i wud prolly be endorsing crime instead of stopping it lol.

we wud be such an amazing team! maybe i cud corrupt him lol. hmmm. hopefully he doesnt find out i killed his daddy. he may throw a hissy fit! thats wut id do. newayz were off to find more special peeps.

maybe 1 day we can end up like this, the pic below. hehe (dont wrry mohindy im just trying to make svetlana jealous. she doesnt want me to eat her brain :sadsylar: )

Monday, February 12, 2007

sylars silly cross-country adventure: last stop

omg its been a wild trip! but now im in my hotel room lol. lil do they no i have no money and will be skipping on the bill and if ne1 tries to stop me they totally lose there brain!

but newayz i had a good adventure 2day. 1st of all i wuz driving thru penn. it wuz cold up here n i had stolen a convertible! so i like had 2 do something. good thing i killed some hissy girl who had the power to like, tilt the earths axis! so i like did and it totally started getting warmer! all the grass turned brown and died it wuz awesum!

i wuz driving a long time n wuz getting lonely. i saw a hitchhiker a nerdy lookin guy so i figured id pick him up! so we drove 4 a lil while, but my void of loneliness wuznt filled! so we got 2 an outlet mall n i pulled over. i went into the store and came back w/ sumthing 4 my new friend!

omg u should like totally put these on i said.

wut? he said. he wuz confused.

just put um on or ill slap u mr man! i retorted smartly.

lol. it sure wuznt mr glasses. it wuz just sum weirdo in glasses! i guess i kinda missed him. mr glasses that is. we had sum good times when he wuznt drugging me n i wuznt trying to like kill his family. o well. this geek wuznt going to fill wut mr glasses left. so i killed him n ate his brain n threw him out of the car lol.

newayz i finally got to ny state yay! i pulled into syracuse and saw a big game wuz goin on or sumthing! there were cheerleaders n stuff about! this culd b my big chance to cheer!

wen i got 2 the stadium tho i didnt see ne cheerleaders. i guess they were out on the court already. sylars a sad panda. but i did see a big fat orange guy in a suit! so i killed him and got in it. if i couldnt be in a sexy skimpy cheer outfit at least i culd cheer! so i did.

and now i rest! b4 the big day when i arrive in nyc! cant wait lol

final body count for trip: 86

Saturday, February 10, 2007

sylars silly cross-country adventure pt. 5!

omg i made it 2 washington our nations capital home of paul revere's midnite ride and tiananman square lol! this wuld be a good place 4 me to cause mischief. i hadnt eaten in a long time n wuz real hungry. AND i wuz in this city w/ an opportunity n i figured i better use it.

wut opportunity u ask? well its simple. ive been eating dumb hillbilly brainz and theyve been tasting pretty yucky nothing like brian davis brain which tasted awesome! so ive formulated a theory. brain tasteyness is in a positive correlation with smarts! rednecks are stupid wich = yucky brainz. brian davis wuz a big nerd = awesum brainz! and here in washington there r sum of the smartest peeps in the world. so i figured why not go 4 the smartest of them all n taste tru brain delicacy. thats right. im wuz gonna eat george bushs brain!

so i thought to myself where would r prez be in times of terrorism and natl crisis. eureka! the golf course. so i went there and there he wuz playing a quick round of 36. security wuznt even that tight since cheney wuz his golf partner and had a shotgun in his golfbag.

so i like totally walked right up 2 them n mind tricked all the secret service peeps into frozenness. cheney sumhow managed to get free tho and took a few shots w his shotgun. he killed a few agents b4 i could stop his moving 2 lol.

so there i wuz face to face w/ the big man himself. he looked @ me w/ power and confidence. i tried to pry his skull open.

but sumthing happened! he didnt have a power but sumthing wuz hindering me. it...seemed to b his sheer intelligence. we stood there staring at each other engaged in a mental battle. my super mind trick vs his immortal level of knowledge. neither of us, like made any ground on the other! and i couldnt resort to physical violence as we all kno how that turned out. so i gave up. he wuz my equal lol! i never thought i wood c the day that i met my match but it wuz like totally here! i shook his hand and he smiled his great wizdom upon me. we spected each other.

so as 2 not waste nething i mind tricked 1 of the agents that cheney shot and took his brain 4 my lunch. i still needed 2 eat gosh! not quite the delicacy i had hoped 4 but a meal newayz lol! hopefully i find sum special people brain soon that wood prolly taste as good. n ill prolly find that in ny n im almost there!

there may b 1 more stop til i get there! tty then! luv u lots!

body count for trip - 84 (if u count cheney lol)

sylars silly adventure interlude (nuther big word lol)

sry guys ive been riding nonstop (trying 2 get away from the piggies) n havent had a chance to right in my blog. but now im out of brain so ill be pullin over soon. ill have a couple more stops to make til i get 2 nyc. oh! i see the washington monument! this shud be fun lol. ttyl.

Thursday, February 8, 2007

sylars silly cross-country adventure 4: the chase

those nashville hicks caught up w/ me in virginia! aaarch these southern states poor lil me cant catch a break! they set up a road block on the street. but silly them not only am i like special but im also totally driving a semi!

BAM! and i kin make things explode w/out even using my power, c?

lol look how scared they are! o wut a heroic lil guy. silly policeman, road blocks r 4 kids!

newayz so i drived thru their crappy lil block and then i had sum cops chasing me. it wuz about time to use my super mind trick to get rid of them but i had to figure out how. it wuz then that i saw my ray of hope!

logs! sweet beautiful logs! i passed this truck & got a lil bit ahead of it. then i jumped out of my truck (i kin do that cuz im special)! it wuz super mind trick time.

the ropes that tied the logs 2gether snapped! oh wut carnage this would cause. a silly policeman wuz behind the log truck and he wuz in sum trouble...

lol i bet that hurt! but he wuznt the only one to feel the rath of the logs!

my poor dainty hands were getting covered it blood! (metaphorically. whoa did i use a literary device lol). especially when sum of the cops avoided my logs of death! but it wuz no biggie. a mind trick here, a mind trick there and cops were smashing in2 each other and landing in2 ditches. much death and destruction! b4 i wuz dun the highway wuz quite the mess!

whoa! omg did i do that! i guess so lol. o well. the cops were all dead or couldnt get 2 me. unfortunately i didnt get 2 eat any brainz amidst all the death but sumtimes things have 2 be dun!

sumhow sum cars xcaped the carnage. i used my super mind trick to stop 1, kill the driver and push him out of the car. i wuz on my way again! thatll teach the piggies to mess w/ me lol. im back on my trip to ny!

body count for trip: 81

sylars silly cross-country adventure pt. 3!

so i made it to nashville when my car ran out of gas :( i wuz 2 busy singing along 2 j timberlakes newest song to notice the diff! sumtimes i get caught up w/ him lol.

but now im stuck in this cursed city! if i wuz superman (which i pretty much am) then nashville would b my kryptonite! hicks evrywhere! and country music! ahhhh that music! i didnt kno there were songs that werent about dancing and hotness! oh this music is terrible. well if there wuz ne city that deserved a mass murder spree it wood b this 1 lol.

but there wuz 1 good thing. the opry mills mega mall! omg more shopping. 1st thing i did wuz hit up bed bath n beyond!

i picked up this nice set of lotions there! it makes my skin feel so smooth! i need all the help i kin get with this southern sun drying me up like a prune!

but i noticed sumthing. walking through the mall and even the streets of nashville these peeps didnt seem to appreciate a guy wearing lipstick w/ a dress. or maybe it wuz becuz when i came up 2 a street performer playing a banjo his music made me angry (and i wuz hungry) so i ate his playing fingers! lol i kno wut ur thinkin i eat brains right? well i wanted to try sumthing new. it didnt taste good. so i ate his brain neways. but i kind of did this in the middle of the street in broad daylight so i needed a disguise!

lol this is the kind of outfit country hicks wear right? i thought so. but i needed to get away from the eat! so where would be the last place that a tranny boy-band loving brain eater would go? the country music hall of fame lol!

i avoided the heat there but at wut price! there were hillbillies and yokels evrywhere! it wuz terrible. i didnt stay incognito 2 well becuz i killed a couple peeps just 4 there intrest in country lol! i guess im not quite the master of diguise i make myself out to be.

so i decided i needed to get out of there be4 i have to kill many police officers. i should only kill wut i need 4 food and not be wasteful. so i mind trick pushed my stolen truck (cant push it myself might break a nail) 2 the gas station and filled it up. silly gas station man thought i had to pay 4 it so i killed him 2 lol. but i didnt eat his brain i just threw it on the seat next to me so i could have a nice snack 4 the road. i cant be eating 2 many brains i might get fat!

but now im on the road again. not 2 much damage wuz done to me in that cursed city of country. hopefully i never see it again. i cant wait til i get out of these redneck states!

body count for trip: 7

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

sylars silly cross-country adventure pt. 2!

so my trip has begun! i ran into a travelling rodeo along the highway! they seemed to think i wuz a clown just becuz i had sum lipstick on but it wuz ok i got a ride. they were heading to some city in east texas. all these cities are the same to me! i get so hot and my delicate skin gets burnt. i gotta get outta here!

but 1st i did get 2 have a lil fun despite my crocodile skin. i got 2 go 2 the rodeo! sure its not shopping but there are some hot boys riding those bulls! not enough assless-chaps though and that makes me a sad panda. more cowboys should wear that kind of stuff!

it wuz fun watching the bulls though. their rough and toughness reminded me of myself! xcept then ram and gore while i slap and bite and use mind tricks. simlar enough though! i kinda wanted to eat their brain but respected the bulls just 2 much 2 do it! lol im becoming such a softie. i guess itz just been 2 long since ive eaten a brain for power! well soon enough i should be able 2 in ny!

newayz i had a lot of fun there and said goodbye to my rodeo friendz. on the outside of the rodeo place they had this statue of a cow and on my way out i decided 2 get my pic taken on it! there wuz some bratty lil boy on it 2 and he wouldnt get off so i just used my super mind trick and ate his brian. lol. bratty kid brain doesnt taste so good but brain is brain i guess! newayz it turned out to b a pretty good pic dont u think? i know i know im not lookin my best but i cant always b!

newayz i wuz back on the road again. i realized i needed 2 change my look since the last time no1 would pick me up but rodeo dudes! i mean they were rough and tumble and that kin be hot but they really stunk like cow poo 2!

good thing i am a master of disguise! i used my cleavage generation powers, put on a new outfit i got @ the mall and completed my look with a hot wig! damn i looked good.

unfortunately as u can see, i killed a random hobo. i think it was mr esock's twin brother ishmael lol. not many cars wanted 2 picked me up seeing a dead body next to me, despite my hotness.

but wen i moved down the road away from hobo ishmael sum1 finally did. it wuz an old fat trucker and he wuznt 2 happy to see me once he realized i wuz a guy. he tried to kick me out but i really need a ride and it had been like half an hour since my last brain so...well i think u know what i did lol. i had a full belly and a nice new truck lol. and now im on my way! i wunder where ill be next time?

body count on trip: 3

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

sylars silly cross-country adventure pt. 1!

well ive xcaped and i think u all no wut the 1st thing i did wuz. thats right i went shopping! i really had 2 i left my dresses in my cell :( oh well maybe mr glasses will decide to try em on 4 size lol!

omg i just got these new shoes! rn't they pretty?? i keep tripping as i walk down the street tho lol. oh well sacrifices have to be made 4 style. i got a pretty dress 2 but im gonna keep that a surprise from all u guys til i try it on! should be fun ;)

but now ive finished my shopping and its time to start my adventure! i have to get 2 nyc! it seems thats where the epicenter of brainz to eat are lol. but its going to be a long trip! i wunder what kind of adventures ill happen upon on my way there? wut kind of romances will i meet? wut kind of people will i kill. wut brains will be on the menu? all these questions answered & more!

right now im just walking along the road tryin to get a ride. it doesnt seem like many people wanna pick up a creepy guy in a primatech jumpsuit. i guess it doesnt help that i have little pieces of brain all over my face from the roadkill lunch i had. lol. if i cant have people brain i gotta have SOMETHING! i hadnt eaten brain in like 4ever, come on! oh well. i continue my walk across texas! hopefully my adventure has gotten xciting by tomorrow! who KNOWS where ill be by then lol! ttyl!

Monday, February 5, 2007

omg i like SOOOO tricked mr glasses!

omg guess what? hanks dead! hank hasnt been posting on this blog its been me the WHOLE time! lol. do u even believe it? i bet i tricked u just like i tricked mr glasses into solace! wow solace that wuz a big word i just used!

but i dont have much time 2 chat! hes in here RIGHT NOW! omg i dont even believe it he doesnt see me!

look i just took a pic of myself on my webcam im standing right in the corner and he doesnt see me omg i dont believe it this is 2 funny!

he really thinks hank is alive and im dead under that sheet lol. i must have played a pretty good hank (ill thank my music theater skills for that). he even sent me an email 2 confide in me about his mommy whos been dead 4 years that i wuznt supposed to tell ne1 about! and here she is!

lol. what a lady! and wut a great hank i wuz. but thats all over now cuz as soon as he pulls the sheet its SUPER MIND TRICK TIME! yes! its been so long since ive gotten to use it im so excited! well...other than on hank but that doesnt really count cuz he went down like a claire bear on a star football player lol.

omg hes about 2 pull off the sheet! i cant wait to see his reaction its gonna be priceless! and when he sees me in the corner with this white thing in the back of my head, its gon be great! i can hear his NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! already.

whoop! the sheets off. thats right mr glasses its ur buddy hank lol. such sadness his eyes ive never seen it before! omg hes looking this way! ttyl.

Sunday, February 4, 2007

A dream of my own demise, yo?!

Waitin' for Mr. B got boring, and I decided to take a lil nap. But I was awakened with the most horrifying dream I ever had had, yo! It shook my faith as a soldier. It even made me want to get rid of my .45!

I dreamt that Sylar...woke up! He be not dead, dawg, he just be usin' some sort of Jedi mind trick! He woke up and took me for a foo', slappin' me around like a girl, yo!

And then I be dead on that table! Covered in a sheet. And Sylar lurked in that corner yo, and some weird white thing be stickin out the back of his head!

But maybe this all came 'bout cause Sylar drew on that pic of me from the Christmas party, when I'se 'tended ta be dead. ^ Yeah, that one up there at the top. Yeah dawg, that's DEFINATELY a picture of this here gangsta being a clown at the X-Mas party, DEFINATELY not a picture that the Sy guy took after he killed my dream, yo.

But anyways, I think it's cause of Mr. B thinkin 'bout his mortality, too. Man, he can be such a downer! Why don't he just worry bout bein fly and worry bout dying later? I mean, it's not like he be havin' anything to worry about, no immediate dangers in his life, yo!

So yeah, man, I guess that was just a dream, not nothin' to be worried about. Nothin' can take down Hank, I'm too hard, yo! I'm going to leave the cell for now, Mr. B, so don't be alarmed if me don't see me here, homes. I definately won't be standing in any corners, yo.

- Hank

Saturday, February 3, 2007

Hank's Rap

I gots some free time waitin' for Mr. B to come check up on the Sy guy, so I've been writin' down some fly beats, dawg. Here they be, what ya think?

Hank's Rap

Uh, I said I'm straight up gangsta yo,
What you really want? Come on.

I gos down to 44th street to pick up some hos
I meet up with some friends that the po-po call "yos"
We hear them sirens blarin' and we yell "5-0!"
Life ain't so easy down on street forty-fo.

So I'se get that honey's number, baby she is so fly
And she won't find a more street, hardcore guy
Cause my name is Hank, and rap's what I do.
They call this "Hank's Rap" cause I'm better than you.

Oh oh. Hank's rap. Oh yeah. It's da bomb.

Chillin' at the mall buyin' fly new skirts
Them rival G's staring at me, achin' for hurt
I see the boy I like and I give him a stare
Baby be he hurtin for me, and that is clear

So I sing him Hank's rap cause that's what I do
I use it for the ladies and the fellas and dudes
There ain't been no instance where it has failed to woo.
Cause this is Hank's rap. Uh huh, yeah foo.

Oh oh. Hank's rap. Oh yeah. It's da bomb.
Oh oh. Hank's rap. Hellz yeah it's da bomb.

Mr. B is my homie but he's not really street.
But that is OK, even though he's a geek.
He's a hard player, and that's something I 'spect.
Even if I eat his brain, after force-breakin' his neck.

But that won't happen cause I'm Hank, not Sylar.
Even though that dead guy is pretty damn fly-ler.
Cause this is Hank's rap and that's all that we say.
Mr. B will live to see another day!

Oh oh. Hank's rap. Oh yeah. It's da bomb.
Oh oh. Hank's rap. Hellz yeah it's da bomb.

Thursday, February 1, 2007

Big up 2 Biggie

Yo homes, sittin' in this here cell with a dead Sylar has got me thinkin 'bout death, G. Death be a funny thing. I don't even wanna TRY to count all the many soldiers who done fall in the path of a .45. Too many, yo, too many. So, I be giving this Sylar post in honor to the leader of all the fallen, Biggie Smalls.

Yo Biggie, sometimes your words just hypnotize ME, yo. True, 2pac WAS hotter than you, but what the fat man lacked in looks, he made up for in heart. And heart was something he was full of, yo. His words touched me. It was Biggie's words who convinced me to be a soldier! A soldier in the trade of doctoring, yo. I'm like a medic to the fallen G's.

So why is it all us brothers kill each other? Crips and bloods. Sylars and Heroes. Drive-bys and brain eating. What is this world comin' to, yo? Why must we let so much blood spill in the streetz? This is not how it should be! Us brothers need to stick together, not spill each others' blood! It's because of that that our man Biggie hit the asphalt!

But I guess I can see why some of these G's do what they do. I mean, brains DO taste pretty good. In fact, I think me and the wifey'll be having some monkey brains for dinner tonight. Dizzamn is that stuff tastey!

But before any of ya'll go back having your meals, making love to your men...or women, pay some respect to the fallen. Pour a 40 ouncer on the curb for Biggie. And maybe a wine cooler for Sylar, cause, that is like his favorite drink, yo. RIP.

Big up 2 Biggie,