Saturday, February 10, 2007

sylars silly cross-country adventure pt. 5!

omg i made it 2 washington our nations capital home of paul revere's midnite ride and tiananman square lol! this wuld be a good place 4 me to cause mischief. i hadnt eaten in a long time n wuz real hungry. AND i wuz in this city w/ an opportunity n i figured i better use it.

wut opportunity u ask? well its simple. ive been eating dumb hillbilly brainz and theyve been tasting pretty yucky nothing like brian davis brain which tasted awesome! so ive formulated a theory. brain tasteyness is in a positive correlation with smarts! rednecks are stupid wich = yucky brainz. brian davis wuz a big nerd = awesum brainz! and here in washington there r sum of the smartest peeps in the world. so i figured why not go 4 the smartest of them all n taste tru brain delicacy. thats right. im wuz gonna eat george bushs brain!

so i thought to myself where would r prez be in times of terrorism and natl crisis. eureka! the golf course. so i went there and there he wuz playing a quick round of 36. security wuznt even that tight since cheney wuz his golf partner and had a shotgun in his golfbag.

so i like totally walked right up 2 them n mind tricked all the secret service peeps into frozenness. cheney sumhow managed to get free tho and took a few shots w his shotgun. he killed a few agents b4 i could stop his moving 2 lol.

so there i wuz face to face w/ the big man himself. he looked @ me w/ power and confidence. i tried to pry his skull open.

but sumthing happened! he didnt have a power but sumthing wuz hindering me. it...seemed to b his sheer intelligence. we stood there staring at each other engaged in a mental battle. my super mind trick vs his immortal level of knowledge. neither of us, like made any ground on the other! and i couldnt resort to physical violence as we all kno how that turned out. so i gave up. he wuz my equal lol! i never thought i wood c the day that i met my match but it wuz like totally here! i shook his hand and he smiled his great wizdom upon me. we spected each other.

so as 2 not waste nething i mind tricked 1 of the agents that cheney shot and took his brain 4 my lunch. i still needed 2 eat gosh! not quite the delicacy i had hoped 4 but a meal newayz lol! hopefully i find sum special people brain soon that wood prolly taste as good. n ill prolly find that in ny n im almost there!

there may b 1 more stop til i get there! tty then! luv u lots!

body count for trip - 84 (if u count cheney lol)


Svetlana Smith said...

Dick Cheney is a vampire, dude. You're lucky he didn't try to suck the life out of you. Ever wonder why you never see him out during the day? The dude sleeps in a coffine, I friggin' swear.

I hate to say it, but Dick Cheney > you. I mean, I'm not saying that to make you feel bad or be less of a brain eater, but that's just how it is.

I'm drinking a Corona for you right now to make you feel better!

Niki said...

It's too bad really. If the stupid people were more tasty we could wipe out all the coffee drinking idiots of the world.