Thursday, May 17, 2007

sylarz jumps the shark!

well hear we r only a few more adventures til my triumphant xplosion n itz time 2 jump the shark. lets watch!

i arrived @ a big building in nyc wear i new i wud find the man from the company i wuz looking 4. i new this dude like had sumthing like the pwr of good grammar.

i rode up a elevator n wen i got off i saw him.

on the left, justin vp of like primatech paper n his russian bodyguard vladimir sputnikskyov

well the place wuz kinda packed w/ peeps so i figured i wud do this the easy way. i wuznt 1 4 cajun styled brainz but i didnt want 2 get my hands dirty killin all these peeps individually! i usually dont due that if itz more then 50 peeps or so. so i blewed up, xploding the whole room! peeps shrieked as they were engulfed in flames omg it wuz so funny lol. they were all like phoenixes! xcept i dont think theyd be rising from the ashes lol.

i looked around the corpses n didnt c the vp tho! wear cud he b? it wuz then that i saw he n sputnikskyov emerge frum the bathroom. sputnikskyov like totally saw me amongst all the death n destruction n charged @ me like an enraged prostitute who has yet 2 contract a std! i mind trick sawed off his leg n he fell b4 he reached me lol.

i force pinned justin against the wall n raised my finger 2 begin opening up his brain.

"Wait, stop! You can't do this," he whined like a lil baby

'actually i think i kin! ive killed many a peep b4 u silly!'

"But I created you!"

i wuz confused by this statement. i thought babies were created by mommies n daddies? not paper company vps that r younger then u. i kneaded 2 uncover the truth! 'wut do u mean?'

"I am your author! You came from my head!"

'wut?! no silly im sexy sylar! i write my own posts! n i knead ur pwr 2 b like totally cool!'

"No! Your terribly bad grammar is my satire of internet culture and speak! When thinking up a way to parody you, I thought, 'what is the complete opposite of an insane serial killer?' And that is you! And now the only reason you want my power is because I'm sick of typing like an idiot!"

i wuz confused. i looked dwn @ sputnikskyov 4 guidance.

'iz he telling the truth mr bodyguard?'

"If I tell you, will you let me live?" he axed.

'ummmm, prolly not but i wont eat ur brain while ur still alive how bout that?'

"Sounds good to me. I'm not his bodyguard, I'm his nurse. He's crazier than democratic society."

that wuz all i kneaded 2 hear! i killed sputnikskyov w/ a quick mind trick n then sliced open justins skull his sweet grammatical brain xposed. i like feasted yummily!

i just finished my meal of brainz now im rdy 2 type 2 c my knew pwr @ werk....


Clayburn said...

Gah! Now I'm going to have to hire a new VP.

Anonymous said...

Oh man, update already! The suspense is killing me...

hoxharding said...

You are the coolest-ever!

Anonymous said...

You de-legged my other non she-man cousin? Are you trying to tell me something?

~ Lana

Dollface said...

Dear Sylar,
I love you please eat my brains.


Ghost of Congressman Nathan Petrelli said...

Thought I would drop by and see if you were dead, looks like it. That's one worry off of my mind.

C. said...

What? I'm sorry, I don't understand...

Anonymous said...


if any one is out there then lisen SYLAR NEED YOU more than ever he needs you to go to then sign up then go to

9th Wonders Boards > The Hangout > General Chatter > Board Games, Polls, Quizzes the go on to heroes idol or go to search then write in heroes idol the password is shanti then VOTE SYLAR WE CANT LET HIRO WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is the heroes finale so SYLAR needs to win we all know sylar is so much beter than hiro and hiro and sylar are allready at a draw so show your support please im beging you so
SUPPORT SYLAR it will be much apprecieated!!!
and in return he wont take your brains LOL


Noah Bennet said...

Ready for Generations, Gabriel?

Heidi Petrelli said...

Sylar-where is my husband and who are you?

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