Friday, May 11, 2007


future sylar! that cur! that usurper! that like big doodie head! 1st he tells me that he and future mohinder r partners in crime n sumtimes get 2 play spin the bottle! that wuz bad enuf! but now hes crossed the line! now hes come back in time to hit on present mohindy! the nerf! he already has his own mohindy! y must he steal mine??? i saw them getting rdy 2 go in2 a motel room 2gether!

yes thats him! ok i no mayb it looks familiar mayb it is present me n mohindy a month or so ago but ive planted the evidence now no 1 kin tell its rly future sylar n i did rly c those 2 2gether! i knead like the pwr 2 take piccies w/out a cam or sumthing lol!

newayz evn tho future sylar n i were knew bffs i just cudnt allow this. so i sat in the dark petting mohindy the lizard evilly my face covred in shadow until he got home. he did! n turned the light on n jumped wen he saw me!

"OMFG you scared me, silly billy! What are you doing like, sitting in the dark 'n stuff?"

'wear were u lol?' i axed

"I was totally killing peeps and eating brains, duh!"

'no! u were hittin on mohindy!'

"I would never do that! I know that's your man! I would never hit on the boyfriend of my best friend!"

'lies!' i showed him the piccy.

"Um, that's you, laugh out loud."
Enter away message text here.
it wuz then that i mind trick pinned him against the wall n stared at him w/ love adoration n hatred all at once!

"Um, what are you doing, laugh out loud."

'no1 puts theyre hands on my man n lives 2 tell about it!'

"Uh, laugh out loud, I don't think that's a very good idea. I could kill you!"

'but then u wudnt exist!'

"So?! I'd be dead anyways!"

'wait a min. if ur nething like me n i think u r u wudnt be smart enuf 2 no that!'

"Hmmm, oh my gosh, you're right! Well, I guess one of us is leaving without a brain and it should be me! But you're going to keep going forward in time and coming back and getting your brain eaten by your past self in an infinite loop!"

'omg no silly i no this is going 2 happen now so i wont go back in time!'

"No, silly, you're not that smart. I already killed Future Sylar back in my present, and just came back in time to get killed by Present you again!"

'o...well mayb im smarter!'

"Nope! And you're going to regret eating those tacos tonight!"

'howd u no i had tacos? wuteva lol'

newayz i started tearing open his skull n he giggled like a girl! i pulled out my ice cream scoop n 8 his brain like a pint of ben n jerrys! lol! i wuz shure 2 be pwrful now! but my stomack didnt feel good! i teleported into the bathroom!

kneadless 2 say i came out future sylar pwrless! his brain went write thru me thanx 2 those cursed tacos! if only i cud teleport back 2 warn 5:00 PM sylar not 2 eat them! but alas my teleportation thingie wuz gone! dwn the potty like a broken dream!

o well lol. i got my vengeance! n i kin alwayz kill that azn boy n be able 2 teleport! soon it will happen!


Mabes said...

i've never laughed so hard at something in my life

Anonymous said...

Aww, I really liked Future Sylar. :(

Christopher said...

dear sylar i wish i had super powerz than i wud b special lyk u and we cud have sex all the time! lol

Kitty Bell said...

So fabulous! I need a good laugh. Fanks!

Nathan Petrelli said...

Mr Sylar. I just want to take a min. to advise you that I have no special abilities. There is NO reason to eat my brain, and I'm not particularlly fond of the Presidential Job either, so I would be more than willing to live out the rest of my life on an island while you pretend to be me...Just let me take plenty of chicks with me...I get lonely easy.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Future Sylar!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How COULD you!?!?!?!?!

BTrayaL said...

I rarelly see someone write SO badly. I don't mean the story (I sincerely couldn't stand to read beyond the 1st paragraph), but the language, and the way the author massacres the gramathics and includes digits into words.