Thursday, September 20, 2007

Preview!: "Leave Claire Alone!"

OMG guys, hi! I've been like super busy, but I've got a spare sec to share somethin' hella interesting with ya'll! I wanna give all my friends a taste of what's to come starting Sep. 25, so I'll give ya guys a little story while I totally eat my lite dinner of rat brains. Ending up in this sewer was like, a great thing for me! It helped me start that diet I've always wanted to start up! And I'll take these low fat rat brains over veggies anyday! Veggies are yucky :( as is most other non-brain food lol.

So some guy/girl read my last blog post and somehow put two and two together and like got four! And THEN, like, somehow, through that like totally hard math problem (I would have guessed five), he realized that I was still alive! This got him all nervous and stuff. I guess he thought he was gonna eat his friend's brain or somethin', which is usually a safe guess lol, and ya know what, he was like totally right, because he was talking about Claire! He sent me a video of him whinin' like a lil Sylar lol, here he is!

Some of my favorite parts, lol:

"You’re lucky she even saved the world for you, bastard! Leave Claire alone! PLEASE!”

"Speaking of heroism, when is it it heroic to try to kill someone who is going through a hard time?!"

"Leave Claire Bennet alone right NOW! I mean it! If you want to kill her and take her specialness, you deal with me!"

Lol, that's good stuff! Like, more girly than I am somehow, and that's totally a first, I mean, girls aren't even girlier than me lol! Anyways, I thought I'd invite him to my lovely sewer home to, you know, girl talk 'n stuff, maybe do our nails together, 'n probably end a lovely, fun-filled evening with my new gal pal by tearing open his skull 'n eatin' his sweet brain so he doesn't try to stop me from killing Claire later lol! I guess I could totally take a break from my new diet to fill up on some whiney emo feminine guy brains! I got a super fly image in my head of a lock of sexy blonde hair falling onto the floor, Petey style lol.

Anyways, before I invited him over I totally figured something out!. I know what you're thinking, "Wait a minute...Sylar, figuring something out?!" lol, yes it's true, sometimes even I have a bright idea! Well, maybe not a bright idea, but definitely some kind of idea! And this was a good one! So here's my like, smartest idea ever: there is like, no freakin' way that a person this silly could exist! It's way too...what's that word they use...oh yeah - mellon dramatic, lol. Kinda like this guy Sendhil Ramamurthy's acting, who looks kinda like my ex-lover Mohindy. He's got Mohindy's looks, but not his brains! Hmmm, that relationship would work out better for me lol! I need someone on equal smarts ground as Sylarz!

Anyways! I figured it could be a practical joke! But who would play such a joke? It had to be someone who could like, shapeshift! Could it be Candice? I didn't think so, cuz I didn't know her, and my old BFF Future Sylar told me that the first time he met her was when he ate her brain lol. Oh how I miss that sexy man.

Then it hit me. Who else could make super sweet illusions but my friend Future Sylar?! He was playing this, like, totally funny joke on me! It had, like, to be him lol! Even though I thouroughly killed him can you guess? Brain eating! But I'm sure he could find a way to survive, and he had to like be alive, he had to be through the power of Sylar love! My heart has brought you back Future Sylar, I can feel it!


Anonymous said...

That whiney little bitch of a man defintely needs a haircut! Sylarz-style!

Cut those blond emo locks off with your awesomely nifty powerz of sexyness!

natalie said...

So my sister's been busy, but she told me to tell you she's totally psyched for your new posts.

Noah Bennet said...

Oh, great! So you're still after Claire, huh? Gah!