So like, what pair of hoey friends are like the hottest in the whole wide worlds?! Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie. Mary Kate and Ashley Olson. Sexy Sylarz and Smoke Monster lol. Oh I got that sexy monster all hoed up, with some sexy rouge, some blush to bring out its smoke bones, and some hot black lipstick to compliment Smokester's hot black smoke.
So we like, started wandering in the woods like a couple of hot wood elves lol, until we ran into John Locke! He was like, kinda icky. I didn't really see what smokester saw in him. He was old! And bald! Ewwww!
Anyways, ugly Locke saw us and stood up, looking with intrigue at Smokester!
"John," said Smokester.
"You again?" ugly Locke said!
"John, I want you to be with me."
"Haven't we already talked about this? I can't be with you anymore. I just can't."
Smokey started to cry big billowing smokeful tears! "But John, I love you!"
Ugly Locke looked annoyed. "Well I don't love you! I love Jacob! We're together and happy!"
"NOOooOOOooOOcoOOOooOooOO!" Smoke Monster let out a bloodcurdling shriek!
"I...I've gotta go. I've got a date with Jacob. I can't be late."
Ugly Locke pranced off, and all was left was me 'n Smokester, with her cryin' like a lil Sylar lol. But just then, some peeps passed through the forest near us, and one was like totally led by a hot boy! Not only that, but they shouted that they could totally get off the island now!
"Like, freedom, lol!" I giggled, and ran off toward them!
But before I reached the hotness of hot boy, I felt a tug on my dainty leg. I looked down 'n saw the gentle touch of Smokester's smoke on my leg. All of a sudden it dragged me down and started pulling me, OMG! Smokester dragged me down into a hole in the ground! It must be her love nest! She'd taken a desperate turn and settled for a sexy Sylar as a rebound!
"But I don't like girls!" I shrieked as I descended into the darkness of Smokester's love pit!