An Evening With Smoke Monster, Part 1

OMG! So yeah I'm still like, totally powerless, 'n like, SUPER bored without any brains to eat or boys to look at! So, you know, I kinda took a walk in the woods for some reason! This place totally seemed familiar, a LOST kind of place, kinda like a place where a plane would crash, with Matt the fat mind reader boy being the pilot! Silly Matt! Marriage, flying planes, trying to shoot Sylars, he just can't do anything right lol!

Anyways I was kinda walking around, pouting and throwin' a hissy fit, when all of a sudden, I heard this sound that hella heard like a mix of a constipated cow tryin' to let loose and a Sylar mating call lol. I turned and OMG guys, you won't believe what I saw!



It was totally, like, a billowing billow of billowy smoke! And it had a bow or something on!

"OMG I totally love your bow, it's like, so cute!" I shrieked in cute joy at the thing!

The smokey thing stared at me for a moment, sucked it's bow into it's smokey smoke body like a thingie that sucks things to hide it, and then to my surprise it talked or something!

"That wasn't a bow! I don't wear cute things! I'm a vicious killing machine!" it said in a totally deep voice.

"Awww, you do wear cute things! And I'm a killer too lol! So don't even try it! So, who have you killed?"

"Mr. Eko."

"Well, why did you do that, silly billy? To be special?" I sexfully asked.

"Well, you see, I asked him out on a date, and he told me he wasn't gay. Why do people assume that ominous clouds of smoke are male?!" the girl smoke whined.

"Oh, so you're a girlie? Lucky!"

"No! I'm nothing! Do you see any genitals?" The smoke swung its smokey groin at me.

"No fun spots?! Then what's the point of finding a man?!"

"Can't a creature find something more than lust in a man? Can't one find...love?"

I stared at him/her smoke thingie stupidly. Smoke thingie waited for my answer but then smartly realized that I was too stupid and wasn't going to answer lol. Well, anyways, the sexy smoke thingie continued!

"Anyways, I haven't had much luck! I almost had Locke down in my sexy love pit, but stupid Jack pulled him away. God, is he annoying. And then Mr. Eko, turning me down, thinking me gay, he had to die!"

"Well I tell you what, how about I totally help you go find a sexy guy?"

The smoke thingie like, sniffed, and looked at me with its puppy smokey non-existent eyes. "Can we kill Jack, too?"

"Of course! I wouldn't have it any other way, silly!"


To be continued or some junk, lol!