The Return of Future Sylar

So, I was in the height of my depression, with no way to cure my heterosexuality sickness when I got a welcome visit from a totally super friend! I was out in the desert takin' a pee pee, when all of a sudden I saw a guy admiring my junk!

"Nice weasel," said the voice with a giggle. I looked up...and saw Future Sylar!

"Future Sylar!" I shrieked. But..I killed you! How could you be here?"

"Teehee, you silly goose! That Future Sylar that you killed was from a different timeline or something! The timeline changed when sexy Petey didn't blowed up the city! That Future Sylar you killed never existed! Now, we have me! A totally sexier version!"

"But I definitely ate the brains of SOME Future Sylar!"

"Or like, did you?" Future Sylar asked, raising his eyebrow. "You don't have any of his hella awesome powers!"

"That's because I had freakin' indigestion!"

"Or did you?" Future Sylar raised his eyebrow.

"Yes, I did!"

"Or did you?"

"Um, I think so?"

"Or did you?"

"I guess not."

"Or did you?"

"Hmmm, you're right, maybe I did!"

"Or did you?"

"No, you're right, I didn't."

"That's what I thought!" Future Sylar had wonned.

"Whatever! You're lookin' super sexy by the way. Future Sylar, tell me, when will I like, get my powers back? Without them I'm getting these...like totally icky manly urges! I need to get rid of them and become my girly self again!"

"I don't know, hun, I never lost my powers," Future Sylar responded.

"But how? You're me...from the future!"

"No, silly! A Future Sylar from the future came to me and saved me from icky Candice when I was held hostage! I kept my powers!"

"Then, how come that didn't happen to me?!"

"Because YOU'RE the Future Sylar," Future Sylar said mystically. He then broke down and giggled. I wanted to kill him and totally eat his brains but: 1. I wouldn't get his powers and B. I get indigestion from Sylar brains anyways, lol. Or do I? I thought for a minute.

"Are you gonna say anything?" Future Sylar interrupted my quick thinking. "You've been standing there in silence with your little Sylar stickin' out of your pants for like 15 minutes or some junk."

I knew I was thinking about something. But what? Oh well! I had another thought. "Well, anyways, how do I get rid of these non-flamboyant urges?!"

"I never had them! I had my powers, so as soon as I ran into these two silly twins I killed 'em 'n stole their powers, lol!"

"Damn you for your, like, effectiveness, Future Me!"

"I like, know, lol! Anyways, I've come to help you get through it, like you came to help me! So continue on your trip! I'll meet you at your next stop! If I don't help you, then Future You won't go back in time to help Past Me, who is supposed to then progress to the future and go back in time to help Past You, who will go forward in time, to become Future you, who will go back in time to help Past Me, who will become Present Me, who will go back in time to help Past..."

He went on like that, stupidly. I was thinking about hot gir...I mean hot guys after I lost him at "then Future You won't..." Anyways, eventually his brain stopped working from using to much smarts, he stood there for a few minutes while it recharged itself, and then he totally teleported away.

"Bye Future Me!" I shouted. I felt a lot better about myself knowing that Future Sylar would help lol.

"Sybriel?" Maya had walked up behind me. "Who are you talking to?"

"Just my weasel, lol," I giggled, zipping up. I looked at Maya, then down at my pants. A tent or some junk was being pitched.

"AAAAAARRRRRRCCCCCHHHHHHH!" I shrieked!