Anyways, when I got to the local cow tippin' hangout, I saw a guy in this super cute, fluffy white coat and hat, tryin' to teach a girlie how to tip the lil cows. He had his hands around his waist. "Put your hips into it," he said, like, hella pushing his own hips against her in an example or something. It sickened and aroused me at the same time lol! And the arousiness sicked me over more! Anyways, he turned around, and I recognized him! It was Future Sylar!
He looked surprised! "Present Sylar!" he shrieked! "What are you doing here?"
"I could like, ask you the same thing! Aren't you supposed to be helpin' me? Who's that girlie?" I asked smartly, as I always do.
"Oh, uh, her? Lol? She's just my uh, BFF girly friend! We like do each other's nails and talk about cute boys and stuff!"
The girly looked confused. "What? What are you talkin' about, daddy?"
"Quiet woman!" Future Sylar shouted! He shot her a look like I'd look at a cute boy before eating his brain lol, lust and anger in one. But where did Future Sylar's lust come from? He must be imagining her as a boy, lol! Or maybe she was a gross looking tranny and he was ashamed to be dating a man who looked so much like a hot girl! Who knows! Certainly not me. Or do I? I reached soe sort of conclusion somehow!
"Wait a minute!" I said, "I know what's going on here!"
Future Sylar sighed. "I guess the jig's up. You know the truth. I am really strai..."
"You guys are cow tipping, lol!" I concluded smartly.
"You just figured that out now?" Future Sylar asked, relieved. I stared at him blankly. He stared blankly back. "Wait, what were we doing?" Future Sylar asked the girly. She shrugged, lol. What a group of smarties we were! Mmmm, smarties, I hella want some!
"I wanna try tippin'! I've always wanted to knock over something stupid! And I want some smarties!" I looked over at Future Sylar, and in probably the cleverest thing I've ever done, I went over and tried to knock him over (to imply that he was stupid, get it? Lol! I'm such a tricky jokester!)
"Hands off the fur, bro!" Future Sylar shouted as I tried to touch him daintily.
"Well, if I can't knock you over, do you at least have some smarties?" I asked, pouting.
"No. Woman, do you?" he asked girly.
"No, but I've got drugs," she said.
"Awww, drugs aren't sugary goodness," Future Sylar pouted.
"No, they're not," I pouted too!
But anyways, Smarty-less, I started thinkin' about things! Bro? Girlies? Cow tipping? These were hella un-Sylar-like activities, lol! OMG, or was it? The next thing I knew I was pushin' over a cow! An icky, stinky, buggy cow! This is not me! I'll have to look up to Future Sylar to provide a good example for me, since he never like, turned straight!
5 comments:
I remember turning straight. And then girly. And then straight again. It was a confusing time for me.
But then I realized...why can't I do both?
Ew! You're more deranged than I thought! Poor cows...
Cow tipping. I had a girlfriend who used to do that on Saturday nights...At least she did it until I got her pregnant and the smell of cow poo made her sick to her stomach. Sighhh. good times...
It's a good thing your future self has discovered girls, cuz i have it on good authority that your ex boyfriend Mohinder is seeing someone else.
Ew, this is just too raw for me.
Has future Sylar thought of just going shopping instead?
Ooooo does Future Sylar want my number?
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