After my silly standoff with the Pres. of NBC, I scampered off, like a cute, fluffy, homicidal, brain-eating squirrel, off to destroy the writers themselves!
After a few shopping stops on the way (I like, had to look my best for every murder. After all, the first impression is the only impression for peeps I kill, lol), I made it to the writer's strike picket line!
I stepped up to the line. This was going to be easier than I thought! These writers were sicky gross! Like a cockroach with Herpes! The strongest, most fearsome kind! It was like, totally obvious why these peeps were like, behind the scenes! Look!
Eeek! I know, I was like, totally skerred too, OMG! But I knew what I had to do! I went up to this thing, 'n like, shook my hot butt in front of his face!
"What are you doing?" it asked.
"Lol! I'm turning you on you sexy, sexy man! And you can get a whole lot more if you start writing my favorite shows again, like 21 Jump Street!"
"Uh, I'm a woman."
A woman?! OMG, no! My like, whole plan was foiled! Well, time for plan B! Murder!
"Super mind trick, activate!" I shouted, like, totally activiting my mind trick. But before I could kill the freakish gross cow of the man beast, I heard a voice shout!
OMG! It was totally my nemesis! Well, my nemesis from my lost post anyways, lol! The Pres. of NBC! He had...ZOMBIE POWER! :o
"Sylar, don't do it! His brain is virginal and stringy! It'll give you indigestion! I was wrong. You are Sylar! I want you to write for Heroes! Come up with some new whacky adventures for...yourself!"
"OMG! So you're saying I'm NOT Zachary Quinto? Who am I then?"
I giggled at him. "Nope! Not good enough! Say it the right way!"
Zombie Pres. sighed. "Do I have to?" I nodded. "Fine. YOUR NAME IS SYLAR!"
"Boom," I giggled. "Well, I guess, I could be your scab or something. There's just one more thing!"
Well, I have to say, I was getting hungry, lol, and that was kinda the "one more thing." I tore open his skull, and reached for his brain.
"Um, Sylar? You already ate it."
"Oh yeah, lol! Fine! I'll write for you! Even without stealing your super cute zombie powers!"
I was happy! I was going to be a writer! This was like, cause for celebration! I put on my Santa outfit and went out to celebrate!