Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Hooray!

The whiney sexy Maya was like, dead! Mohindy came back! He gave me my powers back! He didn't love me. But he was about to be dead too! And then I'd love him! But like, Maya was alive again! OMG! So, like, things didn't go totally according to plan, but the most importantest part is that I'm back to my watch making, boy watching, brain eating self, lol!

I injected myself with Claire Bear blood, and as I did, I totally felt the power of the cheerleader flow through my blood or something! I knew I could totally let out the cheer of rabid, bloodthirsty cheerleader! And that made me happy. I like, tested my power on a can or something! Success! All that was left was, like, a live test subject or something! And Mohindy had prolly already run away like a lil boy who likes to pretend to be a girl and gets made fun of as a youth but ends up growing up to be an insane cereal killer who kills the make-funners. So I just like, decided to use my mind trick against the first thing I came across, lol! And in NYC, what else would that be but a crack head? Lol!

I saw this guy around the corner. He looked totally icky, and a big reason I like, haven't been able to kill these smelly hobos is because I don't like to get my dainty hands dirty. And now I didn't have to! But I didn't want to kill him out in the open. So I tied a penny to a string, and threw it out in front of him to lure him into my alley of villainy or something!

"Crack money!" said the crackhead, lol.

He reached over to grab it, but I tugged on the string! He like, ran to get it again, but I tugged again! He kept chasing it into my alley until I pulled it to me and picked up my penny, smiling evilly and sexfully at the smelly crackhead!

He looked at my pitifully with his sexy, bloodshot crackhead eyes, and I didn't think I had the heart to do it! I mean, it's been like, so totally long since I've been a bloodthirsty cereal killer! I hadn't even killed anyone in like, forever! Except for Candice. Oh, and that random guy that rode with us in smelly Maya & Alejandro land. Oh, and sexy Alejandro. Oh, and Maya. But she doesn't count, 'cause she's alive again and I like, was totally planning that! I definitely was! So how could I kill this cute lil crackhead with so lil recent killing experience? Three people in a few weeks?! In used to be like, three people in a few minutes, lol!

It was then that it happened. The crackhead puked on my cute new shoes. "NOOoooOOocoOOOooOOOoooOOOoOO!" I shrieked! My super mind trick was put to use, and it like, worked like a knife going through cement, lol! I chopped the top of his head off and tore forth his brain and sank my teeth in! Oh, like, sweet, tastey brain! It's been so long since I've tasted your tastfully tastey goodness! Well, this one wasn't so good. It kinda tasted like crack or some junk. But it was brain!

And now my adventures will continue! I feel like my addiction to crack...I mean, brains has totally returned! I will continue eating crack...er, brains, until my hunger for power and crack...uh, brains, has been satisfied! Until then, I will hopefully be able to post weekly (on or around Tuesday) about my brain eating adventures and other stuff! If I forget a week or two, don't fret, I'll return! So now, off I go, in search of some nice, tastey, powerful crack!

2 comments:

Elle said...

Crack is whack. Try speed!

With that said. Can I have my panties back? I know you said you liked the pink pair but Im trying to get a date here and I want them back!

Rico said...

Sylar, you didn't need to put a string on that penny. You know you could've telekenesis that shit.